Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz
שמואל בן לייביש ולאה

Welcome to the homepage of Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz (שמואל בן לייביש ולאה).

• Gaslighters
• Good Bosses
• Humor
• Personal
• Politics
• Professional
• Publications
• Spam Fighting

Gaslighters

Good Bosses

The Internet is full of stories about bad bosses. I believe that it is time that the good bosses got some notice.

• At a small Army base, I worked in the DP section of the Comptroller’s office for a warrant officer who:
  • Knew what he wanted.
  • Ensured that we understood what he wanted.
  • Demanded that we give him what he wanted No, he was by no means a martinet; he was friendly and informal, as long as we did our jobs.
  • Got out of our way and let us do what he asked of us.
  • Had our backs.
  That may not sound like much, but I greatly appreciated him, and I’ve worked for bosses where none of those was the case. Mr. Condon, it was a pleasure to work with you.
• At a Federal Government data center, we had a system crash, and all the managers clustered around the console getting underfoot. The project manager asked who was actually working on the problem, and ordered everybody else out of the computer room. That greatly sped recovery, and my respect for him went up a notch.
• At a Federal Government data center, we did periodic disaster recovery (DR) tests. My boss on the government side would:
  • Bring half a dozen copies of the Stand Alone Restore (FDRSAR) tape and ask me if that was enough.
  • Order me to take a nap when I wasn’t needed.
  • Pull a random tape, tell us to consider it lost, and proceed with the test without it.
  • Point to a random member of the test team, declare him dead, and proceed with the test without him.
  The first two made a successful test more likely, and the last two made it more likely that we would catch problems in our recovery documentation.

Humor

Some T-shirt designs I’ve come up with, most of which are available from my CafePress shop (Shmuel).

• Can you Cache a small Czech? (PDF)
• Dirac wave equation (PDF)
• Duma dork (PDF)
• GR field equations with Cosmological term (PDF)
• Houseboat (PDF)
• Large cardinal (PDF)
• Metaphore – Semaphore: A man’s P should exceed his V
• My father’s manse has many Hessians (PDF)
• My other car is an A-10 (PDF)
• My other car is an SR-71 (PDF)
• Ortho DOX and Para DOX
• Para DICE
• Party of Treason (PDF)
• Qoheleth (PDF)
• RFC 1149 (PDF)
• The only Trigonometry I needed to know (PDF)
• Visual pun (PDF)
• Why Women Can’t Do Mathematics (PDF)
• Woke (PDF)
• Spoiler
  Explanations

Cartoons I enjoy

• My all time favorite is the swing from Datamation. I don’t have a link to the original, but here are some links to derived versions:
  • Tree swing cartoon pictures (early versions)
  • The Project Management Tree Swing Cartoon, Past and Present
• Pillage then burn from the Wizard of Id
• Work Diligently with Integrity - You’ll Get Your Just Reward
• The iconic My wife, I think I'll keep her. from Garry Trudeau's Doonesbury.
• Then, of course, there is Dilbert
  In particular, Eunix
• Many cartoon by Gahan Allen Wilson, especially his Christmas card

Some verse I get a chuckle from
Warning: here there be sarcasm and politics.

• A Boy Named Sue
• A Sea Dirge
• Adventures of Isabel
• Allan Sherman, especially Peter and the Commissar
• An Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog
• Anatevka, my version (אַנאַטעווקאַ)
• Anything by Randy Stewart Rainbow
• Anything by Thomas Andrew Lehrer
• Causae Bibendi
• “Come, come,” said Tom’s father, “at your time of life”
• Donald Verbeck
• Dr. Freud
• Gilbert & Sullivan, especially The Pirates of Penzance
• GOP Treason
• Little Willie rhymes
• Lying "Fake News"
• Many songs by Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie
• Michael Braun , sung to Charlie Brown
• Mrs. Judge Jenkins
• My Favorite Things, My version
• Oh No, John!
• Preventive Service (PUT Process)
• Terence, this is stupid stuff
• The Button Pusher
• The Goose and the Commons
• The Modern Hiawatha
• The Purist
• When I Was One and Twenty
• Wouldn’t It Be Loverly?
• Spoiler
  Explanations

Miscellaneous funny writings

• Anything by Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
• Anything by Hector Hugh Munro ( Saki)
• Anything by Dorothy Parker (née Rothschild)
• Art Buchwald’s classic Explaining Thanksgiving to the French

Personal

I’m a Jewish boomer and cancer survivor, married with two daughters, with an outré sense of humor and eclectic but idiosyncratic interests. Among other things, I enjoy:

1. Bridge, although I haven’t played in years.
2. Chess, although I haven’t played in years.
3. Classical music, especially large orchestral works of the Romantic period and later. I don’t, however, go in for things like 12 tone.
4. Comedy of manners, e.g., Austen, Fielding.
5. Computer architectures
6. Ethnic cuisine.
7. Fantasy, preferably hard or humorous
8. Folk songs, especially labor and protest.
   • Bob Dylan
   • Phil Ochs
   • Thomas Richard Paxton
   • Pete Seeger
9. Mathematics
10. Musical Theatre
11. Operating systems
12. Pets that interact with people — I have a fondness for a wide variety of species, from dogs and cats to less common ones, though the local climate rules out some of my favorites.
13. Poetry
14. Programming languages
15. Puns and other word play
    1. Ferdinand Feghoot
       Through Time and Space with Ferdinand Feghoot , Reginald Bretnor
    2. Haddocks’ Eyes , Through the Looking-Glass, chapter VIII
    3. Uncleftish Beholding , Poul Anderson, Analog Science Fiction and Fact. Vol. 109, no. 13. Davis Publications. pp. 132-135.
16. Science
17. Science Fiction, preferably hard
18. Theatre

I’ve attended Cass Technical High School in Detroit, Wayne State University" (WSU) in Detroit and State University of New York at Buffalo (SUNY/AB), now University at Buffalo, in Amherst.

Politics

דַבֵּר אֶמֶת לְכֺּחַ

• All Lives Matter
• Fight sexism
• GOP treason
• I have a dream
• Russian piece (sic) proposals
• Stop the hypocrisy
• Support our troops - not ...
• Support your local police but ...

I Have a Dream

I have a dream that we elect a Black, female, handicapped, Hispanic, Jewish, left handed, lesbian, short president and nobody finds it unusual.

Stop the hypocrisy

Antisemitism is not a progressive value.

Borrow-and-spend is not a conservative value.

Male bashing is not a feminist value.

Misogyny is not a male-pride value.

Omerta is not a family value.

You can’t Make America Great Again by attacking American aspirations, core value, ideals and institutions.

You can’t protect women by taking away their rights.

You can’t strengthen our national defense by slandering officers serving our country.

You don’t support law and order if you condone police misconduct.

You’re not pro-life if you oppose government medical and nutritional assistance for infants and pregnant women.

In the wake of Iran-Contra and the January 6, 2021 coup attempt

• Donald Verbeck
• GOP Treason
• Michael Braun, sung to Charlie Brown
• Party of Treason (PDF)
• Lying “Fake News”
• Woke

In the wake of Russian war crimes in Ukraine

• Butcher of Bucha
• Duma dork

Support our troops, not the brass.

Support your local police - but hold them accountable for misconduct.

• Citizens be adequately compensated for property damaged or lost due to search or seizure
• Citizens be adequately compensated for business continuity issues due to damage to or seizure of business records.
• Civil asset forfeiture be outlawed
• Congress curtail the qualified immunity doctrine
• Impounded evidence be securely stored and protected from damage or theft
• Impounded business records be expeditiously copied and returned
• Injured police be adequately cared for
• Police be adequately equipped
• Police be adequately monitored
• Police be adequately trained
• Police be held civilly and criminally liable for misconduct
• Survivors of deceased police be adequately cared for

Fight sexism

You can’t fight sexism by being sexist. You may be a sexist if you:

• Believe that certain jobs are effeminate
• Believe that certain jobs are unfeminine
• Believe that chores should be done based on sex rather than, e.g., availability, mutual decision, interest, skill
• Believe that it’s okay for a husband to beat his wife.
• Believe that it’s okay for a wife to beat her husband.
• Believe that only males should be allowed in combat.
• Believe that only males should be drafted.
• Believe that only males should pay alimony and child support.
• Believe that stay at home moms are all gold diggers.
• Believe that there’s something wrong with a stay at home dad.
• Believe that there’s something wrong with a working mom.
• Defend prefering mothers over fathers in custody disputes.
• Defend the Glass Ceiling.
• Judge people’s sexuality based on, e.g., their clothing, their hair
• Use any of the phrases and terms:
  • A woman’s place is in the home.
  • Children belong with their mothers.
  • Children, kitchen, church
  • It must be that time of month.
  • Mansplain
  • Men are more rational.
  • Raging hormones
  • Real men don’t cry.
  • She must have slept her way to the top.
  • She’ll quit as soon as she gets married.
  • Testosterone poisoning
  • Women are more empathic.
  • Women are too emotional.

Support our troops, not the brass.

Demand that Congress raise taxes to fund better care for veterans, low ranking personnel and their families. Also available as a shirt (PDF).

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose:

• Tommy Atkins
• The Last of the Light Brigade

All lives matter — stop the slaughter!

If they bomb your ashram, my church isn’t safe.
If they bomb your church, my mosque isn’t safe.
If they bomb your mosque, my synagogue isn’t safe.
If they bomb your synagogue, my temple isn’t safe.
If they bomb your temple, my ashram isn’t safe.

I’m well aware that some countries, e.g., China, India, Iran, Pakistan, Russia, Turkey, have a much worse record than we do, but as a US citizen I am more aware of and more ashamed of the outrages at home.

See named victims of police and hate crime violence, drawn from the Henry A. Wallace Police Crime Database and other sources.

• Adult lives matter
• Asian lives matter
• Black lives matter
• Children's lives matter
• Female lives matter
• Jewish lives matter
• Latino lives matter
• Muslim lives matter

Professional

I am a systems programmer by profession, although my degree is in Mathematics. I am a senior systems programmer and software developer with experience on a wide variety of languages and platforms. I have participated in the design and development of two operating systems, and am familiar with low level details of several communications protocols. My experience is heaviest on MVS and VM, but is not limited to IBM platforms.

For more information on my background, click on brief résumé, recent CV or full CV.

For mailing lists and other fora for mainframe systems programming — REXX, ISPF, HLASM, RACF, and general z/OS/MVS/VM topics.

Sample code:

• STOWBLDL subroutine to allow PL/I I/O to multiple members of a PDS with a single OPEN.
  Needs private macros and IBM macros.
• Quick and dirty UNOBFUSCATE Perl script to analyze e-mail for spam reporting.
• Prefix macros for THE and XEDIT
  • THE and XEDIT macro for HLASM
  • THE and XEDIT macro for REXX
  • Profile to issue SET SYNONYM

Documentation:

• Prefix macros for THE and XEDIT Source ODT
• Slides for prefix macro demo Source ODT

Publications

I also maintain a list of reference data on Wikipedia, mostly IBM-related, that others may find useful.

• A PC Neophyte’s Guide to Self Defense, PC Systems & Support (October 1993)
• Practicing Safe REXX, OS/2 Magazine, Volume 2 Number 2 (February 1995) or view part 1 and part 2 of the reprint from the RexxLA newsletter, via the Internet Archive (the RexxLA web site's own copies went 404 in 2026; per RexxLA webmaster Mark Hessling, the newsletter itself has been offline for several years). A merged, modernized edition — adding ooRexx guidance and extending coverage to TSO/E, CMS, Object REXX, and Regina — is available as Safe REXX in the Enterprise and on the Desktop (source and revision history on GitHub).
• Local Coordinate Spaces: a proposed unification of manifolds and fiber bundles, and associated machinery, arXiv reference number 1801.05775
• Towards a taxonomy of atlases and of morphisms between them, arXiv reference number 1906.11690

Spam Fighting

Take the Boulder Pledge. Click for more info.

If you are having a problem with spam, you may find these links to be useful.

• Good starting places:
  • SPAM-L FAQ, half SPAM-L, half general
  • News.Admin.Net-Abuse.Email FAQ (lots of good links)
  • Erol’s anti-spam links
  • CAUCE
• Some links to vocabulary
  • Ed Falk’s Spam glossary
  • The Net Abuse Jargon File
  • NANAE FAQ: Colloquialisms
  • SPAM-L FAQ: Glossary and other resources
• Reading headers
  • Tutorial
• Some useful lists of links.
  • Rex Tincher’s anti-spam (junk email) links and information
  • Spam Links is an anti-spam links site
  • More anti-spam links (old)
• Tools
  • Script to locate contact data for spam complaint. Unobfuscates by decoding, e.g., BASE64, QP, %xx.
    Stable version.

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