My favorite Vors

Betan survey ships A ship from the Survey Service of Beta Colony, captained by Cordelia Naismith.
Whose captains are taken Captain Lord Aral Vorkosigan from Barrayar captures Cordelia.
Vorbarran warships
That with strife Cordelia’s men free captured mutineers against orders, but do not join them. When the freed mutineers resume their uprising, Cordelia suppresses it herself using a plasma arc. are shaken
Mess with Cordelia
A slit throat Admiral Vorrutyer has tied Cordelia, a prisoner for the second time, to his bed, tortured her and ordered Sergeant Konstantine Bothari, who is intensely loyal to Aral, to rape her. Bothari instead slits his throat, because Cordelia is under Aral’s protection. she brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

A surprise reception
planned by steady Freddy Refers to Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan being awarded a medal by “Steady Freddy,” the President of Beta Colony, for her alleged killing of Admiral Vorrutyer. Furious at the propaganda use being made of it, she flings the medal back at him. ,
Her toe Security guards grab her the instant she flings the medal back; struggling against them, the toe of her jackboot catches the President in the groin with perfect unplanned accuracy. in his crotch,
because she wasn’t ready,
Underwater breathing Cordelia garrotes her with a belt and holds her head underwater in an aquarium, telling her to “grow gills” and dunking her under again, until she gets the information she needs. ,
to Mehta Dr. Mehta, the psychiatrist who secretly drugged Cordelia during a supposedly voluntary interview—justifying it afterward as ethical since “permission is obtained post facto”— later tries to have her involuntarily committed. she brings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Gas through the window, Evon Vorhalas, whose brother Carl was publicly beheaded for dueling that day, after Aral Vorkosigan, as Regent, would not pardon him, fires a soltoxin gas grenade through the Vorkosigans’ bedroom window by night.
A pillow, not breathing, Soltoxin gas grenade! Don’t breathe, Cordelia! Aral shoves a pillow over her face and drags her from the room.
Cure that is poison, The antidote saves their lives, but it is a violent teratogen: it destroys bone development in the growing fetus. Cordelia is pregnant with their son, Miles.
His vengeance bequeathing, Aral to the captured Evon: So eat vengeance, Evon. Drink it. Fondle it. Wrap it round you in the night watch. It’s all yours. I will it all to you.
“You got my son,” and You missed me, Evon. … You missed my wife. But you got my son.
The drowning it brings, Look at her eyes, Evon. A man could drown in those sea-grey eyes. I’ll be looking at them every day for the rest of my life.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Stealing The capture of Miles Vorkosigan’s uterine replicator during Count Vidal Vordarian’s coup. the son of
A helpless Vor Lady Cordelia organizes a forbidden rescue party for Miles, including armsman Bothari.
Who has an A mutiny on Aral’s ship. armsman Konstantine Bothari
Who is rather shady
Losing your head After Cordelia captures Count Vidal Vordarian, he refuses to accept that his cause is lost, Cordelia orders Bothari to execute him, and he says "What? You’re a Betan! You can’t do—". Bad guess ;-) is
The fate that it brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Anger Cordelia?
You’d better get hopping
Lest you be there Aral has ordered that she be taken to him as soon as she returns, and she joins a sealed meeting.
When she starts to go shopping Aral’s father, Count Piotr Pierre Vorkosigan, angrily asks her Good God, woman, where have you been?, she holds up the bag, replies Shopping. Want to see what I bought?, and spills the head on the table.
Look what a pacifist Cut off one little head and people remember it forever ;-) — a callback to this same incident from Lois McMaster Bujold’s much later Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen (2016).
Betan girl brings Soon after Cordelia returns home with her rescued son, an ImpSec officer wants to register what is in the bag containing Vordarian’s severed head. Koudelka peeks inside and says Put it down as a Winterfair gift for Admiral Vorkosigan. From his wife.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

First blade Cordelia goes shopping in the capital for a spring-sheathed swordstick for Aral’s war-wounded aide-de-camp Lieutenant Koudelka (“Kou”), who walks with a cane. The first sample she tries has its blade snap clean off against the wall. she buys fails,
when tested, the blade breaks,
She tells the shop keeper
I won’t buy those cheap fakes,
A much better blade
To Kou The heavier second sample holds up. Cordelia gives it to Koudelka “to help keep you from running Kou completely into the ground.” It’s the same swordstick she later draws on Vordarian, and the blade Bothari finishes him with — see “Losing your head,” above. she then brings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Records of fathers Searching Sergeant Bothari’s service record, Miles Vorkosigan finds the Sergeant’s own father listed as unknown; he hides the screen from Bothari’s daughter, Elena, and tells her a name instead.
and mothers long hidden, Elena Bothari has never been told anything about her mother; most of a year of her father’s record is sealed under the personal mark of Simon Illyan, chief of Imperial Security.
Opened with codes On the night of his grandfather’s funeral, Miles opens the library comconsole, linked to military headquarters and the Imperial Residence, with the access code of Captain Koudelka, who never revoked it after tutoring him, and then with one of his father’s old codes.
that are strictly forbidden,
Wombs from the war, Seventeen uterine replicators came back from the failed invasion of Escobar. Miles guesses they were spoils of war; in fact the Escobarans sent them, occupied, to their Barrayaran fathers as a rebuke.
and what one of them brings, One infant from them was released to Admiral Aral Vorkosigan on Elena’s birthday, and her footprint matches. The search for her mother will lead to Escobar, and to her father’s death.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Necking for cover Miles asks the duty guard to rattle the door if anyone comes; the guard assumes that Miles and Elena want privacy for necking, and when the door does rattle, Miles shuts down the comconsole and pulls Elena down onto the sofa.
when warning comes knocking, In come Captain Koudelka, barely hiding a smile, Sergeant Bothari, icy, and Count Vorkosigan, darkening.
A stocking left draped Elena had taken off her shoes and stockings to match her footprint against the record; in the lift tube she points out her other stocking, still hanging over the back of his shoulder.
on his shoulder, still mocking,
“Grant me this boon,” Miles pretends they were rehearsing a scene from Shakespeare’s Richard III, and coaches Elena in Lady Anne’s reply.
the excuse that he brings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Mortgaging land To buy the RG 132, Arde Mayhew’s old freighter, from the salvage dealer Calhoun, Miles Vorkosigan gives him a note backed by land he has just inherited around Vorkosigan Vashnoi.
where the glass hole is glowing, The Cetagandans destroyed the city of Vorkosigan Vashnoi; it is now a glass hole in the ground, and its glow can still be seen on a dark night twenty kilometers away.
Checking the climate, Calhoun checks the land’s climate records, and haggles the price down to cost plus ten percent.
the fallout not knowing, He never thinks to check the radiation records.
Sworn as an Armsman, To keep Betan Security and the Mental Health Board from netting Mayhew, Miles has him kneel and swear service as an Armsman simple, with Sergeant Bothari as witness; Bothari protests that a Betan cannot be sworn.
the shield that it brings, Miles pledges Mayhew the protection of a liege commander, and tells Betan Security that any charges against his liegeman must be brought to him.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Goldfish from fountains, Hiding in Hathaway’s recycling center, Baz Jesek cooks a carp taken from a fountain display of the Silica Zoo.
a runaway’s dinner, Baz is a Barrayaran deserter, a lieutenant who fled in the heat of battle; he has passed through the Betan networks without a trace, a man who isn’t there.
Eaten off knife-point Baz offers a morsel on the point of his knife, and Miles Vorkosigan takes it with his lips, camp-fashion, to the horror of Hathaway, the Betan who brought him.
by lord and by sinner, The lord is Miles; the sinner is Baz, who will name his own desertion in his oath.
“Down!”—“this Vor lunatic”— Before the boarding of an Oseran ship, Baz is frozen with fear. Miles announces that he is drafting him and orders him to his knees; unable to give his name without breaking security, he has Baz swear, as a forsworn military vassal, to take service under this Vor lunatic as an Armsman simple.
home’s what he brings, Miles tells Baz that he is home. On Beta Colony, hearing Barrayaran voices, Baz had silently mouthed the word.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Pilots who credit When Miles Vorkosigan collapses aboard the RG 132, Arde Mayhew explains that the crème de meth, the green stimulant liquor from his squeeze bottle, has worn off.
their drink for his leaping, At least, Mayhew says, Miles will stop bouncing off the walls; he has never seen anybody overrev on the stuff the way Miles did.
Friends who just wondered Elena Bothari only wondered why Miles did not fall asleep.
why he wasn’t sleeping, Asked whether she couldn’t tell, Elena says not really.
“Like that all the time?” Mayhew’s laughter fades as he realizes that Miles is always like that.
and the dread that it brings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Boarders who ransack Oseran mercenaries board the RG 132 off Tau Verde and search it, prying apart everything that will come apart.
and call the lord “Shorty,” Captain Auson of the Oseran ship Ariel addresses Miles Vorkosigan as Shorty throughout.
Taking a girl Auson waives the hostage pilot he was to hold and demands Elena Bothari instead: Go pack your things, honey.
for a hostage, so haughty, I make my own rules. She goes. When Miles objects, Auson knocks him to the deck and kicks him.
Calling her liege lord, Elena turns to Miles: My lord . . . ?
the right that it brings, It was not a slip of the tongue; she had a right to call on her liege lord for protection.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Chairs flung by Sergeants— At Miles Vorkosigan’s Now, Sergeant! a chair, which no one had seen Sergeant Bothari unfasten, flies across the room into the mercenary with the nerve disruptor.
what weapon is neater?
Elena: “I’ll Shorty him Elena Bothari, astride the bloody-nosed Captain Auson, wants to break every bone in his body.
down to a meter!” When I’m done he’s going to be one meter tall!
Prisoners now, and Bothari suggests it may be preferable to kill soldiers in battle than prisoners after; Miles orders them stunned.
the problem it brings, Miles, surveying the room: Now what do I do with ’em?
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Welding the hold Miles Vorkosigan has the stunned Oserans locked in an empty hold and the door welded shut, in case they wake up and get creative.
with the prisoners slumping,
Dragging the captain, Elena Bothari drags the last body out by the ankles: Captain Auson’s.
his head on decks bumping, She is noticeably not careful what his head bumps on the way.
Seizing their shuttle, Miles’s plan is to take the Oserans’ own shuttle to their ship, the Ariel.
the cover it brings, The Ariel will think its own people are coming back.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Lives of his friends— Miles Vorkosigan thinks of Elena, Mayhew, Daum and Jesek, who followed him and wouldn’t be there but for him.
so a free hand is given, Sergeant Bothari: You can always break a pilot. If you will give me a free hand, my lord. Miles: Go ahead, Sergeant.
Torture for codes, The captured Oseran pilot officer gives up the Ariel’s codes.
and the implant is riven, Bothari pries the pilot’s neural implant out of his temple with Miles’s grandfather’s dagger. Arde Mayhew: He enjoyed that. You didn’t.
Washing his face, The torn implant wires cause a stroke, and the pilot dies. Miles washes the dried blood from the dead man’s face.
and the knowing it brings, He understands now the terror behind massacres of witnesses, and liked it better when he didn’t.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Bursting through doorways Arde Mayhew lets out a war whoop as he charges into an empty storeroom aboard the Ariel.
the way vids do, yelling, They do it that way on the vids, Mayhew offers.
Baz charging plasma arcs, Baz Jesek, armed with a stunner, charges a mercenary with a plasma arc in Engineering.
past all foretelling, Baz asks Miles Vorkosigan how he knew Baz could do it: I didn’t even know myself.
Drunkards and sleepers, Miles’s own tally for the day: one tottering drunk and two sleeping women.
the tally he brings, He admits to a twinge of jealousy.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Faking inspections, Miles Vorkosigan stages a General Fleet Inspection of the captured Ariel, sarcastic and exhilarated, finding dirt everywhere.
The Sergeant’s regs plundered, The new Dendarii regulations are Sergeant Bothari’s old copy of the Barrayaran Imperial Service regs, with the cultural references cut and the names changed.
Asking for pensions, Instead of defiance, the captured Oserans ask about insurance, paid vacations, perquisites and pensions.
The troopers all wondered, Miles promises them a brochure.
Life is the perk, then, I am permitting you to live. Further privileges will have to be earned.
The sleep that Scotch brings, Bothari makes the overwound Miles drink confiscated scotch, which Miles says tastes like paint thinner, and puts him to bed; he sleeps for sixteen hours.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Gooey tunes playing, The Pelians have taken the Felician refinery and faked its commander’s transmission. To stall, Miles Vorkosigan produces his first cockatrice: Pipe them some gooey music.
“Stand by,” the sign saying, He has a technical difficulties—please stand by sign put on the video.
Trojan horse boarding, Trojan horse, says Bel Thorne at once. Ambush their ambush, and take the station from within.
Their armor betraying, The Pelian commandos wear Oseran full-feedback armor, which can be controlled from the Oseran monitor ship over the suit channels.
Backwash on full, and Miles sets one soldier’s pilot relief tube to backwash at full power. And there’s not a thing he can do about it until he gets somewhere he can take the suit off.
The swearing it brings, Savage swearing fills the channel. Captain Auson: You devious-minded little bastard! Yes, yes!
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Ram with my warship? Miles Vorkosigan suggests ramming Captain Tung’s dreadnought with the Ariel. Captain Auson: My ship! The finest technology Illyrica will sell.
Shall we boil oil and fling it? Shall we boil some oil and fling it at ’em, while we’re at it? Throw a few rocks?
Arde, unbriefed, just Arde Mayhew takes the lumbering RG 132, four times the dreadnought’s mass, and pins the warship against the refinery’s smeltery. But you never warned me, never briefed—
Decided to wing it, A right and proper Armsman, he says, ought not to be sitting on his ass while the dreadnought was about to blow them all away; the ship was the only weapon he had.
Rods bent like skis, and The RG 132’s Necklin rods, the body of its jump drive, are bent: They look like skis! Replacement rods would take a year and cost several times what the ship is worth.
The Armsman it brings, Sergeant Bothari: Welcome to my lord’s service—Armsman.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Four times the shielding, Captain Auson on Captain Tung’s dreadnought, the Triumph: He has four times our shielding and firepower, three times our acceleration, three times our crew, and thirty years experience.
Thrice accelerating,
“Hold your tongue, Tung!” Bel Thorne greets the captured Tung.
How long Thorne was waiting! If you knew how many years I’ve been waiting to say that—
Caught by the comedy Tung has just called Auson and Thorne a pair of clowns. Miles Vorkosigan: May I point out, Captain Tung, that the—ah—comedy team has just captured you?
Team, and it stings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Dark eyes, a jawline, Reading his new recruits’ dossiers, Miles Vorkosigan stops at an extraordinarily beautiful Escobaran: great dark eyes, a clean square line of jaw.
A dossier’s naming, Her last name is Visconti; her first name is Elena. She was an ensign in the Escobaran forces in the war with Barrayar nineteen years before.
Plasma arc lowered, Elena Visconti comes in with a needler aimed at Sergeant Bothari. He has a freshly charged plasma arc in his hand, and lets it fall to his side.
Her justice she’s claiming, She names him a war criminal, Admiral Vorrutyer’s tool in the torture of Escobaran prisoners, herself among them at eighteen, and demands his arrest.
“Lady,” he whispers; Lady . . . You are still beautiful.
The rest that it brings, She fires. Bothari murmurs Rest now, and Miles is not sure to whom. The Sergeant falls dead.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Blood on his shirt front, Miles Vorkosigan, kneeling by Sergeant Bothari, is soaked in his blood.
“I think she’s your mother,” Elena Bothari has the Escobaran woman by the throat; Miles stops her: Don’t kill her! … I think she’s your mother.
Cleaning his weapons— To the medtech: An accident. He was cleaning the weapons. The needler was set on auto rapid-fire.
Two truths and another, Two true statements out of three.
Perched on his shoulder, Miles tells Elena Visconti that until he was nearly five he could not walk, only crawl.
The best view it brings, At any parade he had the best view of anybody, from on top of the Sergeant’s shoulder.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Parchment, black-ribboned, Ivan Vorpatril, sent out as courier with Captain Dimir, recalls Dimir’s packet from an Imperial Household courier: four data discs, And the parchment, of course. Only edicts and Council orders are written on parchment any more.
And Ivan forgetting, Ivan had ducked out before he could learn the orders, and never thought to mention the ribbon. Miles Vorkosigan: Black, you idiot! And you never thought to mention it!
Treason and death, then, A black ribbon means a capital charge in the Council of Counts: Miles’s arrest for treason. Death. Treason. Civil war. Betrayal, sabotage, almost certainly murder.
A trap they are setting, Dimir’s ship, Miles guesses, was sabotaged to lose the summons, and Ivan with it. Convicting Miles would break his father, Aral Vorkosigan; rescuing him would make Aral a traitor too: What a demonic fork!
Hessman’s own wineglass? Miles: If Admiral Hessman took you off to some quiet, isolated place right now and offered you a glass of wine with his own hands, would you drink it?
The “No” that it brings, After a long, thoughtful silence, Ivan turns back, his face painfully somber: No.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

“Lost in the mail,” then, Miles Vorkosigan walks into the Council of Counts at Vorhartung Castle as Count Vordrozda demands to know why the accused is not there: My liege and my lords. I would have been here sooner, but my invitation was lost in the mail.
His summons, he’s pleading, He calls his cousin Ivan Vorpatril as witness, and charges Admiral Hessman with sabotaging Captain Dimir’s courier ship. Abandoned by Vordrozda, Hessman turns on him: If I’m going down I’ll take you with me!
Needler drawn, Counts are To silence Hessman, Vordrozda pulls a needler from under his scarlet robe, in the presence of the Emperor Gregor. Barrayar’s aristocracy still keeps its military tone; drawing a deadly weapon before the Emperor strikes a deep reflex.
Toward it stampeding, Twenty or thirty men start up from their benches; others run between Vordrozda and the dais. Only on Barrayar, Miles reflects, would pulling a loaded needler start a stampede toward one.
Knees first for Ivan, Vordrozda, turning his needler on Miles, is buried in an avalanche of tackling bodies, scarlet robes flapping.
The honor it brings, Ivan has the honor of the first hit, taking him in the knees.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Emperor’s Own, then, Gregor cannot change Dorca’s law against private armies, nor march on a fleet that far away. Miles Vorkosigan, letting the silence stretch: The Emperor’s Own Dendarii Mercenaries.
A Crown Troop he’s giving, I’d be delighted to give them to you. Declare them a Crown Troop. It’s been done. Aral Vorkosigan: With horse cavalry!
Secretly ImpSec’s, The declaration stays private: A free mercenary fleet secretly owned by Barrayaran Imperial Security.
For Simon’s misgiving, Simon Illyan, chief of Imperial Security, is still in prison on the false conspiracy charge, and a trifle annoyed with Miles. Aral, with a flash of a grin: Simon will be overjoyed.
Terrible ensign Aral suggests confining Miles to an institution where he must labor all day under many watchful eyes: the Imperial Service Academy. I think he will make a terrible ensign.
The Academy brings, But if he can avoid being strangled by his harried superiors for—er—excessive initiative, I think he might be a fine General Staff officer someday.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Four days of walking, Harra Csurik, Raina’s mother, walks four days from Silvy Vale to the Count’s summer retreat.
her justice she’s seeking, On her knees at the gate, she begs for her justice; the district magistrate is away for weeks, and her local authorities will not act.
Standing up straight and Miles Vorkosigan’s advice before she goes in to the Count: stand up straight,
the truth she is speaking, and speak the truth; the Count will take it from there.
Daddy who died in To the gate guard: seeing her lord Count is her right, because her father died in the Service.
the Service she brings, The Imperial Service, Barrayar’s armed forces.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Sleepy-eyed Aral Count Aral Vorkosigan, Miles’s father, listening to Harra Csurik’s charge with his strategy-session look, a slit-eyed intensity of thought.
who might fool a stranger; The look could be mistaken for sleepiness, which would be a grave mistake.
Those who know better
can recognize danger; When the Count asks a question in a deceptively mild tone, Miles is on full alert.
Miles as his Voice With the district magistrate away for weeks, the Count asks Harra whether his son, sent as his Voice to judge the case in his name, would satisfy her. It would.
and the justice he brings, Miles finds Raina’s killer and passes sentence.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Raina, Raina Csurik, the baby daughter of Harra Csurik of Silvy Vale, a hamlet in the Dendarii mountains. whose neck The autopsy shows that her neck was broken, then twisted back into alignment.
for a cat’s mouth A harelip: not even a mutation, and fairly simple plastic surgery would have corrected it. In the hills, a baby born with it is a mutie. was broken,
Oaths at her graveside, When Harra burns twigs, bark and a strand of her hair on the grave, Miles Vorkosigan, his father’s Voice in the case, swears to himself by his word as Vorkosigan to give Raina a better sacrifice, whose smoke will be seen from one end of the mountains to the other.
in fury, unspoken,
Sappers, not lances, Miles Vorkosigan’s last vow to Raina: he will not just tilt at windmills for her, but send in sappers to mine them and blast them into the sky.
for windmills with wings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Keeping his word, though Lem Csurik, Raina’s father, has guesses about who killed her, and will take fast-penta only if Miles Vorkosigan swears not to ask him. Miles swears by his word as Vorkosigan to ask only about what Lem saw himself.
the doctor is pressing, Lem says he met someone on the path, and Dr. Dea urges Miles to ask who. Miles refuses: he gave his word.
First through the doorway Miles has Dea dose the first person through the cabin door as they step in.
gets penta, confessing, It is Ma Mattulich, Raina’s grandmother; under fast-penta she confesses.
Trap with no warning, With a second dose ready, Miles fills the time with the story of his grandfather while he watches the yard from the window.
the hypospray springs, The hypospray hisses as she steps through the door.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Grandmas Mara Mattulich, Harra Csurik’s mother and Raina’s grandmother. who murder Ma Mattulich broke Raina’s neck so that Harra would think the baby had simply died. Years before, she had killed two of her own newborns for their defects.
a babe, no repentance, Confessing under fast-penta, Ma Mattulich insists she only did the right thing, and pours out her hatred of Miles Vorkosigan, the mutie lord.
Dead to the law Miles Vorkosigan sentences her to death, then holds the execution indefinitely: she is as dead before the law, her property goes to Harra, and Harra has power over her as a parent over a child.
by the mutie lord’s sentence, “Mutie lord” is what the hill folk call Miles Vorkosigan, his father’s Voice in the case; it is Ma Mattulich’s last word to him.
Death without burning, No one, not even Harra, may make a burning for Ma Mattulich when she goes into the ground.
no memory clings, She will die as the childless do, without remembrance.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Stripping to stand On Kyril Island, Ensign Miles Vorkosigan, ordered to hold a nerve disruptor on the freezing men, sets it down, strips, and joins them; then he talks General Metzov into arresting them all instead.
with the Greeks who are frozen, Fifteen techs, over half of them from Barrayar’s Greek-speaking minority, refuse to clean up a spill of the mutagen fetaine. General Metzov calls it mutiny and has them strip in the frost, ringed by trainees with nerve disruptors. A massacre would have set the language separatists rioting; if Miles died with them, at least it would be clear that it was no plot of the government.
Charges dismissed Miles’s father, Prime Minister Count Aral Vorkosigan, can have the charges against the techs quashed by Imperial fiat.
at the cost he has chosen, The price is that Miles can never serve again; in a way, he says, they were his men, and he agrees to resign his commission.
Guarding not life Instead, Count Vorkosigan has Miles assigned to Imperial Security.
but the honor of kings, Many officers, the Count says, may be trusted with the Emperor’s life; fewer with his honor.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Making Ryoval’s day “Making Ryoval’s day” is tongue in cheek — with Miles guiding her, Taura guts his life’s work: years of irreplaceable genetic samples, destroyed by his own creation turned against him.
when he is at leisure,
Teaching Taura revenge Miles shows her the temperature control on Ryoval’s high-security tissue-sample freezers and has her turn it with a single finger, ruining the lot.
does not take much pressure Literally as well as figuratively — ruining years of Ryoval’s genetic research takes no more than the pressure of Taura’s one finger on a temperature dial. ,
Recruiting her so that
she can spread her wings, This refers to Miles Vorkosigan’s escape from House Ryoval on Jackson’s Whole with Taura, one of Ryoval’s own genetically engineered creations, in Lois McMaster Bujold’s novella “Labyrinth.”
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Vorbarran agents Miles Vorkosigan in his persona as Admiral Naismith, on a covert mission to extract Dr. Hugh Canaba from Jackson’s Whole, with a cover story of weapon shopping.
Who couldn’t be bolder
Who have affairs with Taura, one of Ryoval’s genetically engineered creations, refuses to believe that Miles considers her human unless he makes love to her. Afterward, learning she has only ever been called Nine—a number, not a name—he is outraged, and gives her a real one: Taura.
A gene-tailored soldier An 8' tall super soldier commissioned by people who have never seen combat, and treated as a laboratory animal.
A rescue float truck Bel Thorne’s mission to ransom Miles.
That takes a few dings Miles refuses to allow Bel Thorne to swap the quaddie Nicol for him, and instead orders his men to fight. They escape in a stolen float truck, which takes fire and is damaged along the way; the Dendarii drop shuttle, undamaged, arrives afterward to pick everyone up.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Seized in his armor, On a Dendarii rescue of a kidnapped Imperial courier, Miles has a seizure inside his combat armor, an aftereffect of his cryo-revival that he has kept from ImpSec.
his plasma arc slicing, The suit’s plasma arc locks on while he convulses.
Vorberg dismembered, Lieutenant Vorberg, the courier he came to rescue, loses both legs below the knee; the Dendarii surgeon reattaches them.
his records for splicing, Miles edits the seizure out of his report to Simon Illyan, Chief of Imperial Security, calling it a suit malfunction, and erases the full version.
Horus eyes forfeit Illyan learns the truth from the cryo-revival surgeon’s records and the Dendarii surgeon’s private files. He offers a quiet medical discharge if Miles resigns; Miles hands over the silver Horus-eye pins of Imperial Security.
for lies that it brings Illyan calls it a betrayal of the subordinates who depended on Miles as well as of the superiors who trusted him.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Simon in fetters Simon Illyan’s eidetic memory chip breaks down. He is kept naked, restrained, and sedated in Imperial Security’s own clinic, reliving random days of the past thirty years every few minutes.
who calls for him pleading, Whenever Illyan surfaces in the present, he asks for Miles. Night after night Lieutenant Vorberg, now commanding his night guard, reports it up the chain; the word never reaches Miles.
Stunners and gate guards, Miles is refused a visit, has his clearance revoked, and is thrown out of headquarters under orders to be stunned if he comes back.
Haroche never heeding, General Lucas Haroche, the acting chief, treats Illyan more as a prisoner than a patient, and turns away Lady Alys Vorpatril as well.
Lost among friends Illyan, Miles thinks, is lost among people who should have been his friends; Miles had called him Uncle Simon until he was eighteen.
in the chaos it brings The chip floods his mind with crystal-sharp memories from random times; the jumps come faster every day.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Dressed in his House brown, For the first time in years, Miles puts on the brown-and-silver Vorkosigan House uniform, deciding that Vorkosigan cannot surrender.
his medals displaying, He wears all his decorations at once, from the Vervani medal to the Cetagandan Order of Merit, most of them won in classified service.
Off to see Gregor, Emperor Gregor, his foster brother, has never before seen him come the Vor lord with intent.
demanding, not praying, Miles claims a right to see Illyan as his father’s son, a Vor obligation that goes around ImpSec’s military hierarchy.
Ask for an Auditor, He asks Gregor to assign an Imperial Auditor, whom even Imperial Security must obey. Gregor decides it would save steps to appoint Miles himself.
wear the gold rings The Auditor’s gold chain of office goes over Miles’s shoulders. His first request as Auditor is an assistant, and Ivan is volunteered in his turn: the first ass he thought of, Ivan says.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Bribed with his fleet back, General Haroche offers to reinstate Miles and return the Dendarii Mercenaries to him, on the same terms he had under Illyan.
the tabs he’d been craving, Haroche throws in the promotion to captain he says is two years overdue.
Wrestling temptation, Asked through a locked door what he is doing, Miles says he is wrestling with temptation, and going for the best two falls out of three.
a friend’s life worth saving, The price is closing his Auditor’s case on Captain Duv Galeni, whom Haroche has framed for his own sabotage of Illyan’s chip, and who would not long survive in his cell.
Trading no heart When it is over, Gregor asks what stopped him.
for the heart’s dearest things Some prices, Miles answers, are just too high: the one thing you cannot trade for your heart’s desire is your heart.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Two keep a secret Lord Auditor Vorhovis asks why Miles refused the bribe, when no one would ever have found out. Two can keep a secret, Miles answers, if one of them is dead; not three.
if one of them’s buried, Haroche, Galeni, and Miles himself would all have known.
Name and his body Someone might have survived with his name, in his body,
by strangers be carried, but it would not have been Miles any more; it would have been a man he didn’t much like.
Valuing self Asked if he values himself, he says he has learned to; then so, perhaps, Vorhovis replies, shall they.
is the gift that it brings Gregor makes him the eighth Imperial Auditor, the youngest since the Time of Isolation, and confirms his retirement as a captain.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Spymaster pensioned, Simon Illyan, Chief of Imperial Security for thirty years, retires once his broken memory chip is removed. He asks Miles to float rumors that he is more mentally incapacitated than he is, to make himself a less exciting target.
a widow at leisure, Lady Alys Vorpatril, Ivan’s mother, widowed thirty years ago in the War of Vordarian’s Pretendership, is Gregor’s Baba and closest senior female relative, in charge of all the social arrangements for the Emperor’s wedding. Leisure is relative: she has just taken on two new social secretaries.
Beach chairs and fruit sticks After Gregor’s betrothal, Alys and Illyan plan a half-month at a south-coast resort ImpSec has never heard of: a beach chair in the sun all day, and drinks with fruit on a stick, to Ivan’s horror.
and concerts for pleasure, In all his years running security at the Vorbarr Sultana Company Hall, Illyan never once sat down to watch the show. Escorting Alys, he finds he likes concerts very well: she talked, he listened, and he found it restful.
Powerless people Neither holds any office. Alys rules Vorbarr Sultana society, and Illyan’s old colleagues, Guy Allegre of ImpSec among them, still turn up at tea time.
who influence kings Alys is Gregor’s Baba, the go-between for his marriage; Illyan guarded Gregor for his whole reign.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Bar her from Simon, General Lucas Haroche, acting Chief of ImpSec, refuses Lady Alys Vorpatril a visit to the ailing Simon Illyan: it is no sight for a lady. She asks him what he was doing during the War of Vordarian’s Pretendership, when she watched Vordarian’s guards shoot her husband Padma in the street and gave birth to Ivan that night in an abandoned room.
then ring back, much humbled, Miles reminds Haroche that, as Gregor’s Baba, Alys will run the social side of the Emperor’s wedding. Haroche calls her himself and asks, as a personal favor, that she sit with Illyan. Told she said so yesterday, he answers meekly that she was right.
Thinking him past it, Haroche judged Simon Illyan to be getting stale, and sabotaged his memory chip to take his job.
and Lucas has tumbled, Caught on his knees swapping the air filter in his old office, Haroche looks up to find Illyan there: Hello, Lucas. Illyan wants no easy way out for him; let him stand his court-martial, every minute of it.
Putting your finger Alys holds no office and Illyan has retired; anyone who takes that to mean they are harmless is mistaken.
where buzzsaw blade sings Illyan, afterward: ImpSec needs some new traditions for changing its chiefs, as assassination and retribution are so disruptive.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Bungled proposals Miles unwisely confides in his cousin Ivan Xav Vorpatril (That idiot Ivan — Miles’s own verbatim line for him, from The Warrior’s Apprentice), the son of Miles’s aunt Alys Vorpatril , a woman with no official authority but enough social clout to make her a good friend and a dangerous enemy. Miles extracts a reluctant promise from Ivan to leave Ekaterin alone; resentful at being pressured into it, Ivan decides to get even by encouraging potential rivals to court Ekaterin. At a family dinner, Simon Illyan, the former head of Imperial Security (ImpSec), asks about Miles’s intended proposal to Ekaterin, causing Miles to make a panicky proposal, and Ekaterin, outraged at being manipulated, storms out. can
Sometimes be tricky The widowed Ekaterin Vorsoisson wants a year of mourning before considering any suitors. Miles, in love with her, is afraid that someone else will marry her, and hires her to design a garden of native plants as a ploy to be in frequent contact with her.
You’ll face his mother
When you mess with Nikki
She’s a strong lady
Who knows a few things
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Draft the eleventh, After his disastrous proposal at dinner, Miles Vorkosigan writes by hand to Ekaterin Vorsoisson: This is the eleventh draft of this letter. All of them, he adds, even the horrible version in rhyme, began the same way. Ekaterin wonders who emptied his wastebasket, and whether they could be bribed: Pym, probably, and likely not. Later she thinks: It wasn’t just honest, it was naked.
“I’m sorry,” it’s starting, It begins Dear Madame Vorsoisson, I am sorry. Every draft began with those words. He confesses that he tried to be the thief of her; she was not a ship to be hijacked. Ekaterin, unreasonably certain he hadn’t plucked that comparison out of the air, thinks that if she ever sees him again she will say: People who’ve been in Covert Ops shouldn’t write letters while high on fast-penta.
Seal smeared with blood, and The Vorkosigan seal is pressed by hand into the envelope flap and rubbed with red-brown, the most traditional color. Ekaterin realizes that it is blood.
No plea at the parting, He signs himself Yours to command. The letter is full of confession, but asks for no forgiveness and no reply. Ekaterin wonders: Pride, or despair? Which? Perhaps both: On sale now, this week only, two sins for the price of one!
Gifts can be victories, Victories can’t be gifts. But gifts can be victories, can’t they. It’s what you said.
The dowry it brings, The garden could have been your gift, a dowry of talent, skill, and vision.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Harrying Nikki, Alexi Vormoncrief has cornered Nikki alone in his great-uncle’s parlor, grilling him about the bandages he glimpsed on Miles’s wrists after Tien’s death.
then hounding his mother,
Claiming protection, Vormoncrief has just told Nikki that Miles murdered his father; when Ekaterin confronts him, he says he only wants to protect her from the mutie lord, and grabs for her.
he means but to smother,
Crack The heel of Ekaterin’s hand crunches into Vormoncrief’s nose hard enough to draw blood, and she shrieks: Let go of me, you blithering twit! of her palm,
and a name that still stings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Storming Alexi Vormoncrief enters Georg Vorthys’s home uninvited and unannounced while Vorthys is away, and badgers Nikki about Miles’s bandaged wrists until the boy is in tears. the house
of an Auditor, Georg Vorthys. Crossing an Imperial Auditor means crossing the Emperor, whose Voice he is: trying to bribe or blackmail one is treason, and faking an Auditor’s credentials is punishable by death. boldly, Fools rush in where angels fear to tread (Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism).
Illyan then answers Simon Illyan has been in the archway since the part about the fast-penta interrogation, eavesdropping on Vormoncrief’s slander of Miles, and has watched Ekaterin herself flatten him with a palm strike to the nose. him,
dry and so coldly, Illyan: What I saw was that you entered the home of an Imperial Auditor, uninvited and unannounced, while the Auditor was not present, and offered physical violence to a member of his family. Who is your commanding officer, Lieutenant Vormoncrief? He records the answer: Colonel Ushakov will be hearing from General Allegre.
Not twice, or not once: Illyan: The lady asked you to unhand her, Lieutenant. She shouldn’t have to ask twice. Or . . . once.
with the chill that he brings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Blackmailing Miles Richars Vorrutyer is challenging his cousin Dono (née Donna) Vorrutyer for the seat of the deceased Count Pierre Vorrutyer. He threatens to formally charge Miles for the murder of Etienne Vorsoisson, Ekaterin’s deceased husband, unless Miles votes his father’s proxy in his favor. is
Not very clever No, You know, Richars, I’m glad you came to see me. Before we had this little talk, I had actually been undecided how I was going to vote on the matter of the Vorrutyer’s District. does not mean I capitulate, it means You’re toast.
From you all your hopes and
Your dreams it will sever Miles, who previously had been on the fence, is outraged both on his own behalf and on Ekaterin’s. He pretends to agree, and immediately starts planning to bring Richars down. Shoe, foot!
Loss of your rank Richars plots to have Donna castrated in order to disqualify him for the countship. Ivan Vorpatril and Olivia Koudelka rescue Donna, capture his assailants, use the attack to gain more votes for Donna and reveal the plot in the council of counts prior to the votes. and
A trial Richars is not only defeated but is facing serious criminal charges. it brings.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Gullible inlaws Lieutenant Alexi Vormoncrief convinces Ekaterin’s brother Hugo Vorvayne , and Etienne’s cousin Vassily Vorsoisson , who has legal guardianship over Nikki, that being around Miles, or even being in the capital, is dangerous, and they threaten to take Nikki away from her if she doesn’t move him.
Want to take Nicholai
Emperor Gregor
Responds to his outcry Gregor: Gerard, take a note. This is the third time this month that the busy Lieutenant Vormoncrief has come to my negative attention in matters touching political concerns. Remind Us to find him a post somewhere in the Empire where he may be less busy.
Meddlesome shavetails Alexi Vormoncrief spreads rumors about Miles, to the detriment of Ekaterin and Nikki, whom the emperor has taken under his wing. The emperor is not amused.
The emperor zings Emperor Gregor sends Lt. Vormoncrief to Kyril Island, the worst duty station in the empire.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Swords in a barrel, Miles is sorting the north wing attic of Vorkosigan House: cavalry javelins, racks of old Armsmen’s uniforms, horse gear, and dozens of swords and daggers thrust into barrels like steel bouquets. One trunk holds a sack of Cetagandan scalps, probably brought to his grandfather, General Piotr Vorkosigan, as trophies by his guerrillas.
a saddle for riding, Princess-and-Countess Olivia Vorkosigan’s carved saddle. Ekaterin Vorsoisson thinks it belongs in a museum; Miles would rather honor its maker by putting it back to use, and asks her to ride with him.
Owning his firing, Miles tells Ekaterin what he has never told her: he was not medically discharged. Simon Illyan fired him for falsifying a report about his seizures.
no longer hiding, Admiral Naismith began as a lie that Miles later made true, and he came to think every lie could be fixed later that way, as he had tried to do with her.
Honor, reset at Ekaterin asks how Miles could take an Auditor’s oath after having once been forsworn.
the navel, still springs, Didn’t her honor come in the model with the reset button? Miles points to his navel, and her laughter loosens something wound too tight.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Nikki is defiant,
his spirit not broken, Ordered to go with his cousin Vassily Vorsoisson, Nikki refuses, dodges the grab, and threatens to tell everyone Vassily is kidnapping him — and that he’s not his father, both true.
Of bathroom to backstairs, Nikki has locked himself in the Professor’s study, but Aunt Vorthys’s bedroom opens onto a bath with a second door into it.
no warning Ekaterin realizes that Nikki is about to call Gregor, and keeps quiet: like her aunt, she doesn’t point out that unguarded route to Vassily and Hugo. Tempted to dash round and shut the comconsole down, she thinks instead: Let’s see what happens. Yes. Let’s. is spoken
In Vorhartung Castle
a comconsole rings Nikki uses the unmarked code-card Gregor gave him, a direct line to the Emperor’s own comconsole channel, reserved for “a very few friends and relatives.” Gregor meant it for talk about the rumors over his father’s death, not rescue from a custody fight; under the circumstances, the stretch is justified.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Though Gregor is busy
he answers and listens
The face of the tyrant
with sweat Vassily is hauled before the Emperor in a private side chamber at Vorhartung Castle and rebuked: “Your concern is laudable but not necessary. Your gullibility is less laudable. Correct it, please,” followed by “Madame Vorsoisson has my full trust, Lieutenant; I recommend you give her yours.” shortly glistens
To meddlesome shavetails Alexi Vormoncrief, whose rumor-mongering panicked Vassily into trying to take Nikki in the first place, gets the same dressing-down here that sends him to Kyril Island — see “Responds to his outcry,” above.
sweet Nemesis sings
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

An auditor’s aegis,
the emperor’s own voice. Gregor, explaining the office to Miles: An Auditor is not just my Voice. He’s my eyes and ears, as well, very much in the original sense of the word . . . to go places I can’t, and report back with an absolutely independent angle of view.
Treading Ask Richars Vorrutyer, or Alexi Vormoncrief—caught by Simon Illyan invading the home of Lord Auditor Vorthys and manhandling the Auditor’s niece Ekaterin, who’s just decked him for it. where you shouldn’t
is such a forlorn choice, Illyan, from the archway, deadly dry: The lady asked you to unhand her, Lieutenant. She shouldn’t have to ask twice. Or . . .  once.
it’s so suicidal Illyan, in an arctic voice: What I saw was that you entered the home of an Imperial Auditor, uninvited and unannounced, while the Auditor was not present, and offered physical violence to a member of his family. Who is your commanding officer, Lieutenant Vormoncrief?
to test what that brings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]

Richars Vorrutyer when
slandering Miles
Ekaterin’s retort You are mistaken, Lord Richars, she snapped down at him. Not your first mistake, apparently.
...
That’s your idea of proof? Ekaterin snarled. Fine. Your legal theory is easily demolished–.
that has all in smiles Let’s finish this. Lord Vorkosigan!
Miles jerked in his seat, taken by surprise. Madame? He made a little half-bow gesture. Yours to command...
Good. Will you marry me?
...
So much for that line of reasoning, Lord Richars, Ekaterin finished. She sat back, and added, by no means under her breath, Twit.
Miles who now can
foresee wedding rings Not just his own wedding to Ekaterin, but also Gregor’s wedding.
These are a few of
My favorite things.

[hook]