Gardening
spiders
Ungoliant, who took the form of a giant spider and, along with Dark Lord Melkor, destroyed the Two Trees of Valinor
And
swords that are broken
Elendil’s sword Narsil, called The Sword that was Broken
after
its damage in a battle against Sauron, and later caried by
Aragorn (Strider
).
Words
in the Elvish Tengwar script:
One ring to rule them all, one ring to
find them, One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,
in the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.
in the
Black Speech
The Black Speech of Mordor is a language constructed by Sauron.
That must not be spoken
Unfaithful stewards
Denethor, the 26th ruling Steward of Gondor.
Denethor, the 26th ruling Steward of Gondor.
Who don’t want their kings
Denethor, the 26th ruling Steward of Gondor, is unhappy about the
arrival of Aragorn, the rightful king.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
When the
orc
An orc is a creature in The Lord of the Rings
, created by Sauron.
bites,
When the
probe
A neuronic probe is a fictional device in The Currents of Space
.
stings
When I’m feeling bad
I simply remember
My favorite
kings
Aragorn, king of Gondor
And I don’t feel so bad.
Hobbits fall
captive
Merry and Pippin, captured by Saruman’s orcs
to
Former
Saruman the White, head of the White Council,
stripped of his rank by Gandalf
Istari
The order of wizards sent to Middle-earth to oppose Sauron;
Saruman and Gandalf are both Istari.
,
Who anger
ents
Tree-shepherds of Fangorn Forest, ancient and slow to anger.
Treebeard, the oldest of the ents
and
Never say sorry,
Wormtongue
A henchman of Saruman
at
Gandalf
A palantir flings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Rescuing
Harold Shea and Heimdall are captured by fire giants
and Shea bribes one of their jailers into letting them escape.
Heimdall
For
his roaring trumpet
The trumpet Gjallarhorn, which Heimdall must blow to inaugorate
Ragnarök.
The
Blatant Beast
,
A character in
Edmund Spenser
’s
epic poem
The Faerie Queene
.
The beast threats to kill
Harold Shea
and his companions unless they ransome themselves with words
(All jests are stale. I would an epic poem.
)
The beast already knows Beowulf
,
and Shea can't remember the words to The Sorceror
.
In desperation Shea recites
The Ballad of Eskimo Nell
.
shocked by
The beast, appalled by the bawdy and crude lyrics,
leaves in disgust.
A
fictional
The Ballad of Eskimo Nell
strumpet
Eskimo Nell in The Ballad of Eskimo Nell
A fantasy novel
That loud laughter brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Peddlers
a zone agent of the Confederacy of Vega
in the story The Second Night of Summer
who drive their
Mysterious wagons
Petite young
ladies
Lessa, in the novel Dragonflight
, is the last surviving
member of the ruling family of Ruatha Hold. She has been
recruited as a dragonrider She is taken to a hatching, at which
she impresses (establishes a telepathic bond with) the newly
hatched dragon Ramot.
Who can speak to
dragons
Large flying telepathic reptiles on the planet Pern.
Travelling the Cosmos
In a
ship who sings
Helva is an intelligent girl born with a severely disabled body.
Her society trains people with such disabilities to operate machinery
via a direct brain link. In Helva’s case, she is trained to
operate a spaceship (brain ship
), and became known as
The Ship Who Sings
due to her habit of singing to herself.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Rochmont lords seeking to
Bring Dorsai disgrace
Dorsai whose vengence leaves
Of Rochenont no trace
A pacifist warrior who
"Su madre" sings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Time traveling bar men
‘—All You Zombies—’
from The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, March 1959
The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, March 1959
Who are like no others
The protagonist of ‘—All You Zombies—’
is
a bartender who, with the aid of a time machine and a sex change
operation, is his own father and own mother.
Who are their own fathers
And are their own mothers
Robert Anson Heinlein is known as the dean of science fiction authors
Of all such stories
Know
Heinlein’s
Robert Anson Heinlein is known as the dean of science fiction authors;
his stories By His Bootstraps
and
‘—All You Zombies—’
are iconic in the time travel genre.
are kings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
A
ducal detective
Lord Darcy is the Chief Forensic Investigator for the Duke of Normandy in several stories by Gordon Randall Phillip David Garet (Randal Garet).
Whose
aide
Master Sean O’Lochlainn is Lord Darcy’s magical aide.
does the magic
Finds that their cases
Are often quite tragic
I hope that more stories
still lurk in the wings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Oversized
lizards
Adzel is a reptilian alien partnered with the human David Falkayn in Trader Team
by Poul Anderson.
With partners named
David
David Falkayn in Trader Team
by Poul Anderson.
Who trade with sophonts
who sometimes are rabid
Finding new planets
With glorious rings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Operation Changeling (Part 1) from The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, May 1969
Operation Changeling (Part 2) from The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, June 1969
Witches and werewolves
Werewolf Steven Matuchek and his wife Virginia (Ginny
) Graylock
Whose babies are taken
Agents of the Hell World have replaced their daughter Valeria with a changeling
Don’t take it lightly
Steve and Ginny invade the Hell World to rescue Val.
The Hell World is shaken
Steve and Ginny summon a whole pantheon of supernatural beings from other universes.
See angry parents
Operation Chaos
Rescue their changelings
These are a few
Of my favorite things.
[hook]
Calvin
In Henry Beam Piper’s novel Lord Kalvan of Othewhen
, Calvin
Morrison is a Keystone cop who is accidentally taken into and
stranded in an alternate universe by a paratime transporter: he
later learns that the region is called the princedom of Hostigos.
The locals later have trouble with his American name and refer to
him as Lord Kalvan.
who knows his
Military history
In Henry Beam Piper’s novel Lord Kalvan of Othewhen
, Calvin
Morrison is a Keystone cop who is accidentally taken into and
stranded in an alternate universe by a paratime transporter: he
later learns that the region is called the princedom of Hostigos.
The locals later have trouble with his American name and refer to
him as Lord Kalvan.
Runs afoul of the great
Paratime mystery
The existence of alternate universes and of paratime transporters
has been kept a secret for thousands of years.
The hand of a lovely
Young
princess
Princess Rylla, the daughter of Prince Ptosphes of Hostigos.
it brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Peasants are
fleeing
Calvin is eating dinner with a Hostigi family with whom he does
not share a common language when they are interrupted by a small
party of raiders from Nostor, a neighboring country. He helps his
hosts fight off the raiders, taking their horses and weapons as
spoils. They see smoke from a nearby village and a group of
villagers fleeing from more raiders.
’Till Kalvan
takes over
Calvin rallies the villagers and leads them in a successful
couterattack.
They win the fight but he’s
Shot by his lover
Princess Rylla is leading a counterattack from the rear and shoots
Calvin, mistaking him for a Nostori soldier. Upon discovering her
error, she has him taken in and cared for.
A chance to win glory
And power it brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Some yell in terror
But he can yell louder
He teaches Prince
Ptosphes
How to make gunpowder
The making of fireseed
(gunpowder) is a temple secret of
Styphon’s House. Kalvan laughs.
To the priests of Styphon
A gauntlet he flings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
They
thought they were lost but
Styphon’s House has decreed a ban on selling gunpowder to Hostigos and
is supporting Nostor’s plan to conquer Hostigos.
Their
hopes
When Kalvan teaches the Hostigi to make a superior grade of gunpowder,
they become optimistic.
he’s igniting
Yet he can’t keep Rylla his
Love from the fighting
Rylla is assertive, and insists on participating in the defense
of her homeland; Neither her father Ptosphes nor her fiancé Kalvan
can disuade her, even after she breaks her leg in battle.
He is a rival
To all the great kings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Graduate students
English major Matthew Mantrell, in Christopher Stasheff’s novel
Her Majesty’s Wizard
Who feel they’re in Hades
Mathew is transported by magic into an alternate universe.
Rescue from prison
Deposed royal ladies
Princess Alisande, the daughter of the deposed king of Merovence.
Summoning dragons
Mathew attempts to conjure a source of light for his cell;
he inadvertently summons the dragon Stegoman instead.
With tears in their wings
Stegoman’s tribe ripped holes in his wings to protect
themselves from his eratic behavior.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Bean-nighes and
bean sidhes
with their cheerful greeting
Portend that your pleasures
Are doomed to be fleeting
Bloody detergent
in Esther Friesner’s novel "Gnome Man’s Land",
a Bean-nighes washes her bloody clothes at a laundromat.
To your clothing clings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Stray mercenaries
1632, the first novel in the 1632 series
Who rape and who pluder,
Mike Stearns and his men who
Plant them six feet under
A
stern warning
We don't know who these murdering raping bastards
are that we put here. Don't much care either. If there
are any more of you out there, be warned. This area is now under the protection of the UMWA. If you try to harm
or rob anybody we will kill you. There will be no further warning. We will not negotiate. We will not arrest you.
You will simply be dead.
We guarantee it.
Go ahead. Try us.
of just
What such conduct brings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Young teenage girls
Anna Braun, fleeing from mercenaries who raided her farm.
who
Are fleeing in terror
A farmer
George Blanton, a farmer living alone after his wife and son died
who thinks her
A tourist,
He still thinks that he's in his own time and place, she speaks
German, so he assumes that a tour bus has had an accident.
in error,
Macaroni and cheese is
The food that he brings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Rogue mercenaries
Camp followers harry.
Some look to
Gretchen
Maria Margaretha "Gretchen" Richter, a camp follower in a
Catholic military force of about 2,000 men, who has taken many
fellow captives under her wing.
Who is rather scary.
She will protect
Those under her wings.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
A bright
teenage boy
Jeff Higgins, a teenager from Grantville, West Virginia.
Mike watches Jeff and his three best friends — Larry Wild,
Jimmy Andersen, and Eddie Cantrell — and thinks:
Ah, yes. D’Artagnan, and the Three Musketeers.
Told to
stay out of trouble.
If you can, warn off Hoffman’s men. But they probably won’t
listen to you, and I don’t want you taking any chances. Don’t do
anything else until the reinforcements arive.
After one army was
Turned into rubble.
Aid
Hoffman’s men have spotted the camp followers. Jeff makes a
deliberate, principled choice that puts his safety at risk, in
violation of his orders:
Over my fucking dead body!
Deliberately, slowly, he lowered the bike’s kickstand and
climbed off. Then he removed the shotgun slung over his
shoulder.
All four members of the group abandon the mission to help;
Larry Wild speaks for them:
Mike can kiss my ass! Hold on, Jeff—I’m coming!
to poor Gretchen
And her folks he brings.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
The dying
Diego
Diego The Spaniard
is a greatly feared mercanary.
He is badly wounded, but Gretchen is afraid that he might survive,
Who demanded water
Sweet gentle Gretchen
Said,
“You are for slaughter”
Diego has been eyeing Gretchen’s 14 year old sister Annalise;
Gretchen has decided to kill him to protect Annalese from rape.
Much needed concealment
Gretchen does not want to be seen killing Diego.
Jeff Higgins
then brings.
Jeff blocks the view of Gretchen and Diego from potential onlookers.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Worried Gretchen Richter,
The burdens she carries,
And young Jeff Higgins,
The man whom she
marries
Jeff is worried that Gretchen will fall into prostitution in
the belief that she has no other options. Concerned for her
future he proposes marriage. When she begins to shake her head,
he responds Yes, I do. Ja, ich muss.
Who for his proposal
A
lexicon
Jeff Higgins doesn’t know German, and
Gretchen Richter knows little English,
so he picks words out of a dictionary to propose.
brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Small gentle
treecats
Stephanie Harrington was the first human to bond with a
treecat; Honor Harrington’s own bond with Nimitz came
generations later. Treecats are a highly social nonverbal species native to the
planet Sphinx in the Manticore binary star system. While telepathic
among themselves, they are only able to read human emotions.
Due to the native predators on Sphinx, treecats have evolved an
impressive ability to defend themselves, and it would be a fatal error
to assume due to their gentle nature that they are helpless.
With friends that are royal
The House of Winton is a protector of treecats.
The reigning Elizabeth Adrienne Samantha Annette Winton (Queen Elizabeth III)
has bonded with a treecat.
Humans with treecats
To whom they are loyal
Mess with their two-legs
This refers to an assassination attempt against Grayson Planetary
Protector Benjamin Mayhew IX at a banquet honoring Honor
Harrington. Honor and her treecat Nimitz are severely injured
while defending Mayhew.
And see what that brings
This refers to the damage that Nimitz inflicts on the assassins.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Pavel cornered Honor,
alone in the shower
Refers to Pavel Young’s attempted sexual assault on Honor
Harrington in a Saganami Island Naval Academy shower room when
both were cadets.
,
Though she
broke his bones
The full incident is narrated as backstory in The Short
Victorious War. Honor, acting in self-defense, beat Young
badly, and would later regard herself as having let him off too
easily given what he attempted.
,
still she feared the Youngs’ power
The sad consequences,
that
forbearance
Honor never files a formal complaint over the assault — a
silence that costs her later. Young’s desertion resurfaces at
Basilisk Station: as senior officer of the picket, he takes his
ship, HMS Warlock, off to Manticore for an unnecessary refit,
abandoning Honor as the system’s sole defender and setting her
up to take the blame. Years later, Honor challenges Young to a
duel — legally sanctioned combat — after he hires a
professional duelist to kill Tankersley rather than face him
himself. Young breaks dueling protocol and fires early, hitting
her shoulder while her back is still turned; the neutral referee
moves to shoot Young for the violation, but the text is explicit
that Honor’s own return fire kills him first — the
referee’s shots strike Young only after he is already dead.
brings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Audubon dancers
The Audubon Ballroom is an antislavery organization widely considered to be terrorist.
who
Will not be chattels
Have strange bedfellows
To help with their battles
With secret agents
They sometimes have flings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Betan survey ships
A ship from the Survey Service of Beta Colony, captained by Cordelia Naismith.
Whose captains are taken
Captain Lord Aral Vorkosigan from Barrayar captures Cordelia.
Vorbarran warships
That with strife are shaken
Cordelia’s men free captured mutineers against orders, but
do not join them. When the freed mutineers resume their uprising,
Cordelia suppresses it herself using a plasma arc.
Mess with
Cordelia
A slit throat she brings
Admiral Vorrutyer has tied Cordelia, a prisoner for the second time,
to his bed, tortured her and ordered Sergeant Konstantine Bothari,
who is intensely loyal to Aral, to rape her. Bothari instead slits
his throat, because Cordelia is under Aral’s protection.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
A surprise reception
planned by steady Freddy
Refers to Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan being awarded a medal by
“Steady Freddy,” the President of Beta Colony, for her
alleged killing of Admiral Vorrutyer. Furious at the propaganda use
being made of it, she flings the medal back at him.
,
Her
toe in his crotch
Security guards grab her the instant she flings the medal back;
struggling against them, the toe of her jackboot catches the
President in the groin with perfect unplanned accuracy.
,
because she wasn’t ready,
Underwater breathing
Cordelia garrotes her with a belt and holds her head underwater in
an aquarium, telling her to “grow gills” and dunking
her under again, until she gets the information she needs.
,
to
Mehta
Dr. Mehta, the psychiatrist who secretly drugged Cordelia during
a supposedly voluntary interview—justifying it afterward as
ethical since “permission is obtained post facto”—
later tries to have her involuntarily committed.
she brings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Stealing
The capture of Miles Vorkosigan’s uterine replicator
during Count Vidal Vordarian’s coup.
the
son
of
A
helpless Vor Lady
Cordelia organizes a forbidden rescue party for Miles, including armsman Bothari.
Who has an
A mutiny on Aral’s ship.
armsman
Konstantine Bothari
Who is rather shady
Losing your head
After Cordelia captures Count Vidal Vordarian, he refuses to
accept that his cause is lost, Cordelia orders Bothari to execute
him, and he says "What? You’re a Betan! You can’t do—". Bad
guess ;-)
is
The fate that it brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Anger Cordelia?
You’d better get hopping
Lest you be there
When she starts to go shopping
Soon after Cordelia returns home with her rescued son, an ImpSec
officer wants to register what is in the bag containing
Vordarian’s severed head. Koudelka peeks inside and says
Put it down as a Winterfair gift for Admiral Vorkosigan. From
his wife.
Aral has ordered that
she be taken to him as soon as she returns, and she joins a sealed
meeting. Aral’s father, Count Piotr Pierre Vorkosigan, angrily
asks her Good God, woman, where have you been?
, she holds
up the bag, replies Shopping. Want to see what I bought?
, and
spills the head on the table.
Look what a pacifist
Cut off one little head and people remember it forever
;-)
— a callback to this same incident from Lois McMaster
Bujold’s much later Gentleman Jole and the Red
Queen (2016), not this session’s own invention.
Betan girl brings
These are a few of
My favorite things
[hook]
Making Ryoval’s day
“Making Ryoval’s day” is tongue in cheek — with Miles guiding
her, Taura guts his life’s work: years of irreplaceable genetic
samples, destroyed by his own creation turned against him. Miles
shows her the temperature control on Ryoval’s high-security
tissue-sample freezers and has her turn it with a single finger,
ruining the lot. This refers to Miles Vorkosigan’s escape from
House Ryoval on Jackson’s Whole with Taura, one of Ryoval’s
own genetically engineered creations, in Lois McMaster Bujold’s
novella “Labyrinth.”
when he is at leisure,
Teaching Taura revenge does
not take much pressure
Literally as well as figuratively — ruining years of Ryoval’s
genetic research takes no more than the pressure of Taura’s one
finger on a temperature dial.
,
Recruiting her so that she can spread her wings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Vorbarran agents
Miles Vorkosigan in his persona as Admiral Naismith, on a covert
mission to extract Dr. Hugh Canaba from Jackson’s Whole, with a
cover story of weapon shopping.
Who couldn’t be bolder
Who have affairs with
A gene-tailored soldier
An 8' tall super soldier
commissioned by people who have
never seen combat, and treated as a laboratory animal. She
refuses to believe that Miles considers her human unless he makes
love to her. Afterward, learning she has only ever been called
Nine
—a number, not a name—he is outraged, and
gives her a real one: Taura.
A rescue float truck
Bel Thorne’s mission to ransom Miles.
That takes a few dings
Miles refuses to allow Bel Thorne to swap the quaddie Nicol for
him, and instead orders his men to fight. They escape in a
stolen float truck, which takes fire and is damaged along the way;
the Dendarii drop shuttle, undamaged, arrives afterward to pick
everyone up.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Thieves dressed as boys
Kim, an adolescent girl who dresses as a boy because she is afraid
of being forced into a brothel if her sex is discovered. She is
hired to break into the wagon of Mairelon the Magician, who does a
magic show, and to look for a silver bowl.
Who are caught and coopted
Kim is caught by Mairelon and coopted into assisting him in an
investigation into the theft of the Saltash set
, which
incldes the silver bowl she was asked to look for,
Help solve a case
Kim discovers that Mairelon is actually Richard Merrill, a real
magician and member of an aristocratic family. Mairelon, his
assistant Hunch and Kim have a series of comic encounters with
various suspects.
And wind up adopted
Towards the end of the investigation, Kim mentions that a spell
she had deliberately interrupted looked bad, and Merrill explains
to Kim that only people with magical talent can see magic being
used. He then proposes making her his ward and teaching her magic.
Hide behind the table
Kim sees that Baron Gregory St. Claire, the thief that Merrill is seeking, is
attempting to cast a spell and hides behind a table.
When a foe magic flings
Kim sees that St. Claire, the thief that Merrill is seeking, is
attempting to cast a spell and hides behind a table. She sees that
the spell is miscast, and disrupts it, averting disaster.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Students of magic
Merrill is teaching Kim multiple languages and assigning magical
texts for her to read.
Weighed down by their reading
Merrill is giving Kim magical reading assignments in multiple languages.
Who their decorum
While Merrill is somewhat unconventional and neither he nor his
mother Lady Wendall are unduly concerned with decorum, his
paternal aunt Agatha Lowe, living in his brother Andrew’s
house and acting as a chaperone for Kim, is very much a stickler
for appropriate
behavior.
Not always are heeding
Merril’s aunt lectures both Kim and Merrill on what she
perceives as inappropriate behavior. She does, however, make
limited concessions to the demands of magical training.
Rescue their teacher
Merrill is part of a group casting a spell and Kim discovers that
he is in danger of insanity as a byproduct of the spell. She
trades places with him, risking her life, and averts disaster.
And get wedding rings
Merrill proposes to Kim after she recovers from her participation
in the spell.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Bungled proposals
The widowed Ekaterin Vorsoisson wants a year of mourning before
considering any suitors. Miles, in love with her, is afraid that
someone else will marry her, and hires her to design a garden of
native plants as a ploy to be in frequent contact with her. Miles
unwisely confides in his cousin Ivan Xav Vorpatril (That
idiot Ivan
— Miles’s own verbatim line for him,
from The Warrior’s Apprentice), the son of
Mile’s aunt
Alys Vorpatril
,
a woman
with no official authority but enough social clout to make her a
good friend and a dangerous enemy. Miles extracts a reluctant
promise from Ivan to leave Ekaterin alone; resentful at being
pressured into it, Ivan decides to get even by encouraging
potential rivals to court Ekaterin.
At a family dinner, Simon Illyan, the former head of Imperial
Security (ImpSec), asks about Miles’s intended proposal to
Ekaterin, causing Miles to make a panicky proposal, and Ekaterin,
outraged at being manipulated, storms out.
can
Sometimes be tricky
You’ll face his mother
When you mess with Nikki
She’s a strong lady
Who knows a few things
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Blackmailing Miles
Richars Vorrutyer is challenging his cousin Dono (née Donna)
Vorrutyer for the seat of the deceased Count Pierre Vorrutyer. He
threatens to formally charge Miles for the murder of Etienne
Vorsoisson, Ekaterin’s deceased husband, unless Miles votes his
father’s proxy in his favor. Miles, who previously had been on
the fence, is outraged both on his own behalf and on Ekaterin’s. He
pretends to agree, and immediately starts planning to bring
Richars down. Shoe, foot!
is
Not very clever
No,
You know, Richars, I’m glad you came to see me. Before we had
this little talk, I had actually been undecided how I was
going to vote on the matter of the Vorrutyer’s District.
does not mean I capitulate
, it means You’re toast
.
From you all your hopes and
Your dreams it will sever
Loss of your rank and
A
trial
Richars plots to have Donna castrated in order to disqualify him
for the countship. Ivan Vorpatril and Olivia Koudelka rescue
Donna, capture his assailants, use the attack to gain more votes
for Donna and reveal the plot in the council of counts prior to
the votes. Richars is not only defeated but is facing serious
criminal charges.
it brings.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Gullible inlaws
Lieutenant Alexi Vormoncrief
convinces Ekaterin’s brother
Hugo Vorvayne
,
and
Etienne’s cousin
Vassily Vorsoisson
,
who has legal guardianship over Nikki, that being around Miles,
or even being in the capital, is dangerous, and they threaten to
take Nikki away from her if she doesn’t move him.
Want to take Nicholai
Emperor Gregor
Responds to his outcry
Meddlesome shavetails
Alexi Vormoncrief spreads rumors about Miles, to the detriment
of Ekaterin and Nikki, whom the emperor has taken under his wing.
The emperor is not amused.
Gerard, take a note. This is the third time this month
that the busy Lieutenant Vormoncrief has come to my
negative attention in matters touching political concerns.
Remind Us to find him a post somewhere in the Empire
where he may be less busy.
The
emperor
zings
He sends Lt. Vormoncrief to Kyril Island, the worst duty station in the empire.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
An auditor’s aegis,
the emperor’s own voice.
Gregor, explaining the office to Miles: An Auditor is not
just my Voice. He’s my eyes and ears, as well, very much
in the original sense of the word . . . to go
places I can’t, and report back with an absolutely
independent angle of view.
Treading where you shouldn’t
is such a forlorn choice,
Ask Richars Vorrutyer, or Alexi Vormoncrief—caught by
Simon Illyan invading the home of Lord Auditor Vorthys and
manhandling the Auditor’s niece Ekaterin, who’s just
decked him for it. Illyan, from the archway, deadly dry:
The lady asked you to unhand her, Lieutenant. She
shouldn’t have to ask twice. Or . . .
once.
Then, in an arctic voice: What I saw was that you
entered the home of an Imperial Auditor, uninvited and
unannounced, while the Auditor was not present, and offered
physical violence to a member of his family. Who is your
commanding officer, Lieutenant Vormoncrief?
it’s so suicidal
to test what that brings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Richars Vorrutyer when
slandering Miles
Ekaterin’s
retort
You are mistaken, Lord Richars,
she snapped down at him.
Not your first mistake, apparently.
...
That’s your idea of proof?
Ekaterin snarled.
Fine. Your legal theory is easily demolished–.
...
Let’s finish this. Lord Vorkosigan!
Miles jerked in his seat, taken by surprise. Madame?
He made a little half-bow gesture. Yours to command...
Good. Will you marry me?
...
So much for that line of reasoning, Lord Richars,
Ekaterin
finished. She sat back, and added, by no means under her breath,
Twit.
that has all in smiles
Miles who now can
foresee wedding rings
Not just his own wedding to Ekaterin, but also Gregor’s wedding.
Miles does not yet know about the romance between Alys and Simon.
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Tinker
Alexander Graham Bell (Tinker
) is the title character in
Wen Spencer’s novel Tinker
the genius
Who’s brave, fierce and loyal
Twice saves
Windwolf
Wolf Who Rules Wind, the viceroy of the westernlands of Elfhome
Who is nearly royal
A very large
magnet
Tinker uses an electromagnet on a crane in her junkyard to disrupt
the magically enlarged
foo dogs
attacking Windwolf, which she initially confuses with wargs.
That to
foo dogs
clings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Fake
EIA
Earth Interdimensional Agency
agents
Who really are
Oni
Elves of the Skin clan and their creations.
Tinker
unaware
One might think that overhearing
He is here. Laid out like the dead. Easy prey.
...
Do them all. Quietly.
would be a hint.
that
The agents are phony
To her rescue mission
Stout courage she brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Tinker and
Oilcan
Orville John Wright (Oilcan
) is sensitive about his real name.
when
Crashing the border
Oilcan, Tinker and Windwolf are pursued by
Oni disguised as agents of the Earth Interdimensional Agency (EIA)
while waiting for startup. At startup they crash through a
barricade and proceed on to an elven hospice in search of medical
care for the seriously injured Windwolf. Real EIA agents,
unaware of the fake ones, pursue Tinker and Oilcan.
Elves at the hospice
Soon bring things to order
When pursuing EIA agents arrest Tinker and Oilcan for crashing
the barricade, the elves intervene.
What’s he saying?
...
He’s saying
‘Hands off the kids or we’ll break your face.’
Their care of the
duo
After Windwolf is treated, he notices that Tinker’s hand is
infected and demands that the elves in the hospice treat her.
Recovery brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Tinker taken in by
Tooloo’s deceiving
Misunderstands Windwolf’s
We are not even
A lesson in linguistic
Details it brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Director
Maynard
Derek Maynard, director of the Earth Interdimensional Agency (EIA)
Averting a
crisis
If the elves believe that the EIA is trying to murder
Windwolf, it could lead to a genocidal war.
Tinker telling Maynard
Maynard has drafted Tinker to identify items in a batch of contraband.
What each strange device is
A
bonus
Maynard allows Tinker to take some of the contraband as
compensation for her assistance
that Tinker
To her junkyard brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Windwolf telling Tinker
It’s not you who
owe me
The elf Tooloo told Tinker that she owes a life debt to Windwolf,
a lie of epic proportions; it is Windwolf who owes a life debt to
Tinker.
You saved my life
twice
Once as a young girl from a saurus (a natural, dinosaur-like reptile)
and once as an adult from the "wargs" — actually magically
enlarged foo dogs; real wargs are a separate, genuinely engineered
species in their own right, but not what attacked this time.
Brave Tinker
ze domi
A polite greeting recognizing Tinker as a member of the
Domana caste.
A
mark
a blue triangle, called a dau, that Windwolf places on Tinker’s forehead
after she accepts two ceremonial gifts from him, which he
mistakenly assumes that she recognizes as betrothal gifts. The dau
signifies that she is adopted into the Domana caste, betrothed to
him and under his personal protection.
on her forehead
That big changes brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
NSA
The National Security Agency, an intelligence agency tasked with
protecting our communication and compromising enemy communication.
The NSA does not have authority, experience, mandate, resources or
training for the mission described in the novel, and any of CIA,
DIA, FBI, would have been more plausible.
agents with
No erudition
Agents
Corg Durrack
and
Hannah Briggs
have not the faintest clue about the geography, laws, politics or
treaty that affect their mission. Any real operative would have
been briefed.
Kidnap Tinker on a
bungled mission.
Diplomatic tension is
What the pair brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Elves at
Poppymeadow
An enclave of Wind clan elves
Greet Tinker ze domi
Tinker in love
asks
After abandoning Nathan Czernowski for making aggressive and
unwanted advances during a date that he had agreed would be low
key, Tinker asks Windwolf to make love to her.
Windwolf, won’t you show me
A
misunderstood spell
Windwolf casts a spell on Tinker. Tinker misunderstands
We are at a branching.
... To the left, every path
leads to death. No matter which way you go, you will die.
as referring to a disease, but it actually refers to being human
and hence mortal. The spell is intended to make her an elf of
Windwolf’s Domana caste.
Immortality brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Pony
Nearing his majority, a sekasha may offer his oath to whomever
he chooses. Windwolf expected the offer to come to
him—Pony offered it to Tinker instead. Windwolf tells her
plainly that this brings her honor, since not everyone can
hold a sekasha; once accepted, the bond can’t be
unmade. Tinker, true to form, says yes before she understands
what she’s agreed to.
offering service
To guard and protect her
For holding sekasha
The elves will respect her
The rise in her status
That his service brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Nathan unconcerned
That Tinker is younger
After Windwolf’s spell remade Tinker as an elf, Nathan
decides the transformation erased the years that had stopped
him before.
Loses control and
Gives in to his hunger
Pony’s sharp sword
Pony stops the assault before it goes further.
At his neck it brings
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]
Nostalgic time traveler,
Don Benedict, a wooden-figure carver known as
Dusty,
has fled to 1880s New York with a stolen
time-travel formula, staying to defend the trade against
Demuth’s, a rival firm plotting to replace hand-carved
wooden figures with mass-produced cast iron. From Avram
Davidson’s Take Wooden Indians.
the past seeks to alter,
So industrial progress,
will slow down and falter,
to a business man,
Walter, Dusty’s brother-in-law, has just heard that
Demuth’s is finally making its move to replace wooden
figures with cast iron—and, obliviously, sides with
progress, sending Major Hennaberry into a rage.
A sea voyage
To head off the Major’s fury, Dusty suggests a drink—a
Rat Nolan special.
Walter cries
To progress!,
drains
half his glass, and his
face turns green, then white, as he slides sideways into Rat
Nolan’s arms—mickeyed. He’s carried aboard Bully
Coyle’s ship unconscious to enjoy a regime of healthy
exercise: a sea voyage to Amoy by way of the Straits, prescribed by
the good doctor.
brings,
These are a few of
My favorite things.
[hook]