Wouldn’t It Be Loverly?

A parody of the song from My Fair Lady (music: Frederick Loewe, lyrics: Alan Jay Lerner).

All I want is a large laptop
Somewhere I can afford to shop
To buy it I’d run and hop
Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly?

All I want is some LaTeX code
Written all in expl3 mode,
With no legacy overload,
Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly?

All I want is a lovely proof,
One that does not have a goof
And a thesis beyond reproof,
Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly?

All I want is a Ph.D.,
A sweet co-ed on my knee,
And a chair that’s named for me,
Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly?

Oh, so loverly sittin’
Abso-bloomin’-lutely still
I would never budge till
Spring crept over my window sill

All I want is a lecture hall,
Where the class size is rather small,
And a Clay prize in the fall,
Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly?