Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz

Under construction

Welcome to the homepage of Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz,
http://www.mason.gmu.edu/~smetz3.

E-mail to the owner of this account may be addressed to smetz3@GMU.EDU.

Politics

Support our troops, not the brass.

Demand that Congress raise taxes to fund better care for veterans and for low ranking personnel.

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose: Tommy Atkins

Humor

Some T-shirt designs I've come up with, most of which are available from CafePress.
Warning: here there be puns and other wordplay.

• Dirac wave equation
• Ortho DOX and Para DOX
• Why Women Can't Do Mathematics
• The only Trigonometry I needed to know
• GR field equations with Cosmological term
• My father's manse has many Hessians
• Houseboat
• Visual pun
• Large cardinal
• A man's P should exceed his V
• RFC 1149
• Spoiler
  Explanations

Cartoons I enjoy

• My all time favorite is the swing from Datamation. I don't have a link to the original, but here are some links to derived versions:
  • Tree swing cartoon pictures (early versions)
  • The Project Management Tree Swing Cartoon, Past and Present
• The Wizzard of Id episode in which Steinmetz, having returned from a raid with a wagon full of useless junk, winds up hanging upside down in front of a blackboard and writing "Pillage, then burn."
• Then, of course, there is Dilbert

Some verse I get a chuckle from
Warning: here there be sarcasm and politics.

• A Boy Named Sue
• A Sea Dirge
• An Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog
• Anatevka, my version (אַנאַטעווקאַ)
• Causae Bibendi
• "Come, come," said Tom's father, "at your time of life
• Mrs. Judge Jenkins
• Oh No, John!
• Dr. Freud
• Preventive Service (PUT Process)
• Terence, this is stupid stuff
• The Button Pusher
• The Goose and the Commons
• The Marvelous Toy
• The Purist
• The Thing
• When I Was One and Twenty

Miscellaneous funny writings

• Art Buchwald's classic Explaining Thanksgiving to the French

Personal

I'm married with two daughters and have eclectic but idiosyncratic interests. Among other things, I enjoy.

1. Bridge, although I haven't played in years
2. Chess, although I haven't played in years
3. Classical music, especially large orchestral works of the Romantic period and later. I don't, however, go in for things like 12 tone
4. Computer architectures
5. Fantasy, preferably humorous
6. Mathematics
7. Operating systems
8. Pets - I'm one of those people that like both cats and dogs, as well as some less common species
9. Programming languages
10. Puns and other word play
11. Science
12. Science Fiction, preferably hard
13. Theatre

I've attended Cass Technical High School in Detroit, Wayne State University (WSU) in Detroit and State University of New York at Buffalo (SUNY/AB), now University at Buffalo, in Amherst.

Professional

I am a senior systems programmer and software developer with experience on a wide variety of languages and platforms. I have participated in the design and development of two operating systems, and am familiar with low level details of several communications protocols. My experience is heaviest on MVS and VM, but is not limited to IBM platforms.

For more information on my background, click on brief résumé, recent CV or full CV.

Sample code:

• STOWBLDL subroutine to allow PL/I I/O to multiple members of a PDS with a single OPEN. FTP
  Needs private macros and IBM macros.
• Quick and dirty UNOBFUSCATE Perl script to analyze e-mail for spam reporting.
• Prefix macros for THE and XEDIT
  • THE and XEDIT macro for HLASM
  • THE and XEDIT macro for REXX
  • Profile to issue SET SYNONYM

Documentation:

Prefix macros for THE and XEDIT

Publications

orcid.org/0000-0002-6358-8257

• A PC Neophyte's Guide to Self Defense, PC Systems & Support (October 1993)
• Practicing Safe REXX, OS/2 Magazine, Volume 2 Number 2 (February 1995) or view part 1 and part 2 from the REXLA web site
• Local Coordinate Spaces: a proposed unification of manifolds with fiber bundles, and associated machinery, arXiv reference number 1801.05775

Spam Fighting

Take the Boulder Pledge.

If you are having a problem with spam, you may find these links to be useful.

• Good starting places:
  • SPAM-L FAQ, half SPAM-L, half general
  • News.Admin.Net-Abuse.Email FAQ (lots of good links)
  • Erol's anti-spam links
  • CAUCE
• Some links to vocabulary
  • Ed Falk's Spam glossary
  • The Net Abuse Jargon File
  • NANAE FAQ: Colloquialisms
  • SPAM-L FAQ: Glossary and other resources
• Reading headers
  • Tutorial
• Some useful lists of links.
  • Rex Tincher's anti-spam (junk email) links and information
  • Spam Links is an anti-spam links site
  • More anti-spam links (old)
• Tools
  • Script to locate contact data for spam complaint. Unobfuscates by decoding, e.g., BASE64, QP, %xx.
    Stable version.

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