Magical Hugh was a diabetic, retired luchador who raised rams behind the old church.
He retired from being a luchador because of his diabetes.
A rough 'n' tumble cowboy archetype strolled into the church to pray at the altar.
Hugh overheard him mutter something along these lines:
"Dear Lord, forgive me for I... mumblemumble... anyone could have mistaken... mumblemumble... potassium cyanide... mumblemumble... Shia LaBeouf had it coming."
Since he was raised to be a friendly Catholic boy, Hugh decided to approach the man with salutations.
Say "I'm an icky elf," while dancing like a sensuous genie with a gout.