Throughout this course, I searched for ways to apply what I was learning about characteristics of leaders and the various types of leadership to my own leadership positions. Some concepts of leadership emphasized the importance of building trust and developing personal relationships, while others focused on ethics, authenticity, and personal values. I learned a lot about the topics, but I was never satisfied with the applicability of the literature to my own life. I was always looking for something tangible that I could use in my leadership positions, but I felt frustrated that I was not getting that from the course. However, one article in particular resonated with me during the course. It coined the term “adaptive work” to describe what leadership is and what leaders do, and it provided tangible information and strategies that I could apply in my own leadership roles. For example, the article provided a discussion of the various resources that leaders have at their disposal to assist in their responsibilities. However, the article was not empirical, so the ideas tended to be de-valued in our field that emphasizes "research." I understood the importance of empirical research but I was disturbed and conflicted by the fact that I learned the most from it yet, as a researcher, this was an article to which I should give less credence. One of the things that individuals look to leaders for is resolving conflict, but it is usually an external conflict. However, my own conflict to resolve as a leader was internal.

 
Do leaders use their leadership abilities to resolve internal conflict? I struggled with figuring out how to resolve the internal conflict between accepting the article because of how it relates to my own experiences and rejecting the article because it is not empirical. My conflict made me think about what research I could conduct to empirically test some of the concepts outlined in the article, which would shed some light on the legitimacy of the article. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that further research was certainly one way to resolve my conflict. I hope to use what I learn throughout the remainder of the course to find other potential solutions for resolving the conflict.