Vitae Goal Statements Coursework Professional Experience Analytical Thinking Research Artifacts


Goal Statement
November 2010

     “Finishing a Ph.D. degree is not about intelligence.  It is about endurance.” ~ Dr. Tom Scruggs (August 2008)

     When I heard Dr. Scruggs speak those words at the first gathering for new Ph.D. students, I did not understand what he meant by those words.  Further, I did not understand how individuals could drop out of a Ph.D. program right before they started their dissertation.  Or the true purpose that the dissertation is a tool to show what we have learned, not to save the world. 

     I will admit, at the beginning of the program I was idealistic.  I believed gaining acceptance into a Ph.D. program was an indication of an individual’s intelligence.  I never believed feeling burnt out to the point of quitting was an option.  And, I did believe that the dissertation was a stepping stone to changing the world. 

     However, now I understand that a Ph.D. program is about endurance and how many projects you can juggle at one time and still be successful.  I understand what it feels like to be mentally burnt out and to miss deadlines.  I now understand the true purpose of the dissertation process.  All of these lessons over the past year and a half have opened my eyes to a different world and a different way of thinking.

     As an athlete I understood the definition of physical endurance, but I never understood the definition of mental endurance.  The ability to start each day knowing that something has to be read, written, edited, or discussed related to the Ph.D. program.  I now understand the importance of being able to manage my time to accomplish all that must be done.  The importance of taking a mental break and jogging for thirty minutes or reading a comic book in order to reboot my mind.  Before the program these were actions I took for granted and now I see the importance in them. 

     When registering for my Spring 2011 classes, I became distraught that I was one semester behind in the program.  To me, it was the equivalence of seeing one more hill to climb in a race before reaching the finish line.  The thought of quitting drifted through my mind, but I quickly dismissed it, took a deep breath, and started moving forward again.  As I moved forward, I realized that I was on track to completing the program and the hill was the completion of my classes and the start of my dissertation. 

     Over the course of the next year, I will continue to work on manuscripts for publication and submitting proposals to present at conferences.  However, I need to move my focus to my dissertation proposal and come to a clear idea of what I want to accomplish.  I understand now that that the purpose of the dissertation is to show that I can perform research, synthesize literature, analyze data, and provide an interpretation and discussion of the findings from the research study.  Upon completion of my degree I can move forward on more ambitious studies throughout my career.  Until that time, I need to make a decision on how I will research the use or effects of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) on students with emotional or behavioral disabilities (EBD).  For the purpose of my dissertation, I am leaning towards developing a quantitative study to measure the effects of MBSR on students with EBD.   

     As I have completed the leadership courses in the program, I have come to understand that there is a disconnection between school administration and the importance of supporting special education programs.  This new understanding has prompted me to explore a new line of research questions.  In the Dissertation Planning section of this Portfolio, I expand more on exploring the attitudes of school administrators accommodating the needs of special education programs. 

     As far as future plans upon graduation, I am still leaning towards working in a university setting to prepare new teachers and continue to explore my research agenda.  The reason is that a part of me has the self-absorbed thought that I can prepare new teachers, provide research, and writings that could indirectly influence changes in the education system. 

     I feel as if I have several more hills to climb with a monkey on my back carrying a refrigerator, but I will not quit.  I am focused and determined to complete my degree.  I understand what I need to do and how to accomplish this goal.  I have been and will continue to learn the tools I need to finish my dissertation and move on to a successful leadership position.  I do have short-term goals of completing my academic classes, submitting more manuscripts and proposals for publication, and developing a dissertation proposal.  However, my main goal for the upcoming year is to complete my classes, present portfolio three, and become a doctoral candidate.