Magical Sue braved the Hill of Bedwetting Barrow-wights.
She swam from a week through the rolling rapids of the River of No Respite.
Wounded and weary, she cut her way through the Glen of Haunted Gas Guzzlers.
But as she cut down the last John Deere Home and Garden Tractor, she finally saw it:
A rundown old church with rams humping out back.
Sue knocked at the door and soon saw a gruff, pudgy Mexican man filling the doorframe in front of her.
It was love at first sight. They were engaged the next day.
They knew it had to be destiny, because Sue had always carried insulin under her witch hat, and Hugh just happened to be diabetic.
Hugh was chaste, so he wanted to wait until marriage for sex. Sue was okay with that, she just wasn't sure why he kept postponing the wedding.
But she trusted he would cure her of her leprosy. It was taking a little longer than she liked, but he promised her he was working on it.
"I just have to separate the strain," he'd say. "Just gotta give it a spin in the centrifuge."
Unfortunately she passed before he produced the cure, but she was sure his eternal (non-diabetic) soul, would love her forever.
Suuuuuuuuuuuure.
THE END