Making Feedback Helpful *
Larry K. Michaelsen, University of Oklahoma
Emily E. Schultheiss Western Electric Company
In every aspect of our lives, we are constantly faced with the need to tell other -- family, friends, associates, bosses, subordinates -- about the effects of their behavior. Often, the goal of such feedback is to be helpful -- that is either to encourage them to reinforce positive behavior or to eliminate behavior that is detrimental to them, to us or to our relationship. Unfortunately, not all feedback is helpful. If it is given at the wrong time or in an inappropriate way, it can be destructive to the recipient, your relationship with them or both.
In our view, giving feedback effectively is a skill that comes naturally to a few but can be learned by anyone if they are willing to focus on two things. The most important of which is asking themselves, "Why do I want to give this feedback?" If the intent is to let off steam or establish who's in charge, then the outcome is likely to be negative and the feedback probably shouldn't be given at all. If the intent is to help the other person improve themselves or strengthen your relationship with them, then the second factor comes into play. This one has to do with the manner in which the feedback is given. Even when the) intent is positive, the outcome is likely to be negative unless the process is handled skillfully. The following characteristics of helpful feedback should assist in this regard.
Helpful Feedback is Descriptive NOT Evaluative
Evaluative words, especially negative ones (e.g., "wrong ... .. bad," "dumb," etc.) are likely to cause a defensive reaction even when the person already knows they have made a mistake. For example, telling someone that they made a "careless * "mistake is much more likely to elicit an excuse that places the blame, and therefore the need for change, on someone else (e.g., "I was in a hurry because of all the other things I had to do.") than simply describing the consequences of their actions (e.g., "Joe was upset when his order didn't arrive on schedule.").
An effective way to make feedback more descriptive and less evaluative is by "owning" it (i.e., clearly label it as your opinion). For example, an unowned "That's wrong" is a direct pronouncement of the inadequacy of the receiver's position. In response, most of us would attempt to defend ourselves by reinforcing the merits of our point of view rather than examining the giver's reasoning. By contrast, "owned" statements such as "I disagree," and even "I think you're wrong," are more likely to facilitate further discussion because they describe the giver's position and, as a result, are invitations to compare points of view, Thus, it would be much more helpful to say "I was angry (surprised, upset or whatever) that you disagreed with me in the meeting. I thought you'd have been more supportive based on our discussion at lunch," than to say "You were being two-faced when you disagreed with me in the meeting," even though both statements clearly provide feedback about your displeasure.
Helpful Feedback is Specific
The more specific the feedback, the more information it contains. In trying to help someone learn how to type, saying "you are using the correct finger on all but two of the letters of the alphabet" would be descriptive and minimally evaluative but not specific enough to be of much help. "You are striking the Y and the N with the left instead of the right forefinger," would be even less likely to be seen as evaluative and would be specific enough to be useful. Similarly, the statement "I saw your interactions with me in this group as being quite brief so that I didn't really understand what you were trying to say," is descriptive, non-evaluative, and owned by the giver but is also far more general (and proportionately less helpful) than the statement "...I had a hard time understanding your point about Bill's next assignment. I think my problem was that I didn't have enough information to tic things together."
Helpful Feedback is Expressed
in Terms Relevant to the Needs of the Receiver
Even though a particular behavior is highly undesirable from your point of view, feedback is likely to be ignored unless it is given in terms that are important to the recipient. For example, depending on (heir needs, telling a subordinate, a peer, or even a boss that "I thought the way you treated Susan was unprofessional," might have a dramatically different effect than asking "Were you aware that Susan was so upset she was in tears and is thinking of quitting because she feels you were too critical of her?" Some might respond because they are concerned about maintaining their "image" and feel that Susan's reaction was her problem. Others might not care about their own "image" but be highly responsive because of Susan's reaction. The key is that we are more likely to respond to feedback that is stated in terms of issues that we have strong feelings about.
Helpful Feedback is Timely
In general, the more immediate the feedback; the more helpful it will be. In part, this is because giving immediate feedback makes it possible to be much more specific because the details of the situation are much more apparent than they would be at any later point in time. In addition, delayed feedback often causes resentment because it may sound like a "Monday morning quarterback." This is because the recipient may feel that he or she could have minimized problems by making on-the-spot corrections if you had spoken up earlier.
Even though immediate feedback is generally desirable, one caution is in order. There may be situations in which the receiver's needs may make it necessary to postpone feedback until it can be given in a different setting. For example, bosses who need to be "in charge" will invariably respond defensively if someone attempts to give them negative feedback during a meeting they are conducting but will often respond favorably to a "one-on-one" conversation at a later point in time. Similarly, someone who is very upset or angry, is not likely to be open to feedback until they have had the opportunity to calm down.
Helpful Feedback is Desired by the Receiver
One of the most critical aspects of giving feedback is being able to tell when those who need it are ready to receive it. In part, this is because imposing feedback on someone who isn't ready for it is more likely to damage your relationship with the recipient than to provide them with helpful insights. Thus, two important questions arise: (1) How can you tell whether or not someone is ready to receive feedback and, (2) What, if anything, can you do when you think someone needs feedback and doesn't appear to be aware that they need it?
With respect to the first question, a number of things can help. Most people give cues, verbal and nonverbal. For example, negative cues might include nonverbal cues such as body position (turned away) and verbal cues such as attempting to redirect the conversation. The better you know the people, the easier it is to read their cues particularly when they trust you enough so that they don't feel like they have to be "on guard" in your presence. Unfortunately, having a close relationship with someone often leads us to assume that our feedback will be more welcome than it turns out to be. As a result, the only time you can be sure that it is "safe" to give negative feedback is when the recipient specifically asks for it.
What can you do when you feel that someone would benefit from feedback but doesn't appear to be aware that they need it? One key is patience. In many cases simply waiting for an invitation for your input will provide plenty of opportunities. In situations in which waiting is too costly, the best option is to ask the person if they would like you to give them feedback. In doing so, however, if they have any hesitancy it would be better to attempt to understand and resolve the reasons for their reservations before actually moving ahead with the feedback.
Helpful Feedback is Usable
Feedback is useful only when it relates to something over which the person has control. Feedback is useless when it is about: (1) personal attributes such as race, sex, age, physical size or even previous experience and, (2) opportunities that have already been missed (i.e., something someone should have done but didn't). The problem with both is that the person can't do anything about them even if they want to. As a result, giving feedback based on these kinds of issues is not only useless but is likely to cause resentment (or worse).
Summary
We have outlined six variables that determine whether or not feedback will be helpful on one hand or ineffective and possibly even harmful on the other. Our comments can be summed up in the following six "Characteristics of Helpful Feedback." Helpful Feedback is:
A Concluding Note
One final general rule concerns the communications process itself. Feedback cannot be helpful if it is not heard or is misunderstood. Thus, it is always a good idea for the person giving feedback to check, explicitly, with the receiver, to make sure that the receiver heard and understood what you were trying to communicate. One of the most effective ways of accomplishing this is by asking the receiver to restate what he or she thought you had said.
*This article is based on ideas from an article that originally appeared in the 1971 NTL Reading Book: Laboratories in Human Relations Training, Rev. Ed. and has appeared in slightly modified form in a number of other places.
This article is reprinted here by permission of the lead author. The full citation:
Michaelsen, L. K., & Schultheiss, E. E. (1988). Making feedback helpful. The Organizational Behavior Teaching Review, 13, 109-112.