11 STEPS FOR COMFORTABLE SURVIVAL OF THE Y2K APOCALYPSE

By Zane the Apostle of Zane


  1. Organize your community. If you live in an apartment complex, this is more easily done than if you are in a townhouse development or a single-family dwelling. But there are obvious segmentations and organization-units all around you. Look for the most accessible. Apartment-dwellers can use their rental office as central organization office. Distribution of goods and services can be handled there. Agreement on rental waivers and mutual-survival guidelines should be in written form and voted on democratically by the renters. An owners association is an ideal starting place for Townhouse-dwellers. One unit can be designated for food storage and/or an arsenal. Guard duty and weapon procurement can be voted on by the Association Members. Since this about survival for an extended period of time, renters should be given full voting rights.
    Figure out who your governmental representatives are.

    Get maps that illustrate locations of local nuclear facilities, chemical plants, and factories.

  2. Once you have organized a sustainable Survival Unit, you must decide on means by which you can feed, clothe, and protect your cell. Dried foods, gardens for fresh vegetables, water drums and rainwater collection tanks with filters, and other consumables must be taken into account. Gasoline or Kerosene generators must be obtained. Large-capacity freezers that can be run on generator power must be procured. Weapons must be bought. At least two rifles and a handgun should be distributed to each family (household). Ideally, a cache of larger weapons (RPG's, landmines, machine guns, anti-aircraft, flame-throwers) would be bought on the black market. Prices are probably already going up. Be careful not to raise suspicion. Barbed wire lines and concrete barriers need to be built. Guard duty rosters should be drawn up.

  3. Gasoline is dangerous to store in large quantities. Specific vehicles should be designated from the lot of the Survival unit to be used for various out-of-safety-zone sorties. A motorpool should be marked off and whatever amount of gasoline you can store should be shielded and camouflaged. In a worst-case-scenario, gasoline from all the Townhouse's cars, lawn mowers, etc. can be collected. Make sure The Man doesn't catch on.

  4. Outsiders should be incarcerated in a woodshed, garage, or large toolbox to ensure they don't overhear any tactical discussion about the Survival Unit. Make sure they are not a spy, or some kind of crazy just there to cause insurrection. Once they are either cleared or disposed of you must recalculate your assets, including the new member as if they were an original member of the collective. To do otherwise would be to make them second class citizens. The issue of voting rights will probably create heated debate. These will be trying times, but the integrity of the Survival Unit must be maintained. Those who wish to leave the Unit will relinquish voting and goods-distribution rights during their absence. Surplus allocations can be evenly distributed, stockpiled or used as barter.

  5. Stealing or misappropriating community materials will not be tolerated.

  6. Defense drills should be run every night after dinner and every morning before breakfast.
  7. Alertness reports will be issued outlining areas that need to be improved.

  8. Indoctrination training will begin

  9. Medical emergencies.
  10. Morphine

  11. Re-population of the species begins in earnest.