In EDRS 812, Joe Maxwell had us present our ideas for a dissertation topic to the class and we received feedback.  At one of these 'consultations', Joe urged me to think about why I wanted to study this specific dual language program and to be honest with myself.  I told him that I wanted to fix it.  Once that was verbalized, I realized that I hadn't really been interested in exploring dual language programs in order to get well-rounded and well-founded background knowledge. I just wanted to fix the program in the way that I felt was best.  The revelation that my attitude was driving the way I was looking at bilingual education and dual language research, caused me to review what I had been studying and to reevaluate my goals in the program.

     The first thing I did was to step away from looking at this specific program in terms of what was wrong.  I chose as my qualitative research project in EDRS 812, to investigate why the teachers in the dual language program in my school chose that profession.  I was fascinated listening to them and learning from them and about their own education.  Listening to the teachers made me want to find out more about the people involved in the program, rather than the program itself.  I decided that I would like to look at the parents of the two language groups who choose to send their children to the dual language program.  I thought that if I could profile the two groups, that information could contextualize the program as well as the participants, giving the reader a better understanding of an actual program in action.

     In EDRS 822, again with Dr. Maxwell, I presented my idea of studying the program from the view of the parents who send their children to it.  Not only was I thinking of profiling the parents but would also look at how the parents' background influenced the way that they interact with their children's teachers.  In addition to studying the parents, looking at their way of interacting with the teachers, I also wanted to see how their interaction with the teachers or administration influenced instruction in the classroom.  That is where I am now.  I know that I have to refine and confine the study but I truly believe that the way I can offer a 'so what' piece to the body of knowledge about dual language programs is to contextualize how English and Spanish speakers in this particular program interact and possibly change instructional practices.

     During my years of courework, I have determined that I am not cut out for quantitative research.  I read it and I understand it but I do not want to do it.  My strength, I think, is in qualitative methods and narrative writing.  My goal is to write a dissertation in the style of Guadalupe Valdes' book, Learning and Not Learning English: Latino students in American schools.  She begins with detailed background information on the challenges of teaching English language learners. Then she presents the demographic information on the areas she studied in a narrative style.  She continues with challenges and realities by profiling first the schools, then the teachers and then four children who personify the situations she had just described.  In conclusion, Valdes writes about the implications for policy and practice. 

     I can envision beginning with background information about educating the English language learner, incorporating the basic goals of multicultural education and second language acquisition theory.  Then background information on the two distinct language groups who send their children to this specific dual language program would be discussed, with attention on how they view education and their role in their children's education.  As part of the discussion on how the parents interact or do not interact with the school administration and teachers, I would look at if and how the parents' actions or concerns influenced the teachers to deviate from the way the dual language program was set up. 

     In the research section of this portfolio, you will see more of my thinking about what I want to pursue and how I am thinking of going about it.  To summarize my goals at this time, I want to contextualize a dual language program with the idea of getting the reader to understand who the parents from these two distinct groups are and how they interact with the education system.

      That preface illustrates that I am facing this program in a much more balanced way.  For the first three years, my life consisted of my full time job and my load of sometimes 3 courses a semester.  I obsessed over getting my work done to the neglect of my family and family obligations. Now I am able to see what I am doing in perspective.  At times I feel that I've lost the drive to finish my degree but I think that what has happened is that I am no longer letting my studies overwhelm my life.  That is positive.

     I put off this portfolio review because I felt that I was not ready.  I thought that I needed to have all the answers before presenting my thoughts. If that were true, I would never be ready for a review.   This presentation of my work means that I need help.  I need confirmation that I am on the right track, advice as to what is possible and what is not, and assurance that what I am studying will have a 'so what' factor. 

      A big question:  When do we decide on a topic and stick with it?  Right as I type, a dual language program that I am very familiar with, seems to be self-destructing.  My gut is to focus on the 'what is going wrong' side of it and study it looking at the influences that are causing the participants concern and distress.  Will I be able to stick to one topic and one aspect of that topic for long enough to write a dissertation?