IT IS VERY SELDOM that mere
ordinary
people like John and myself secure ancestral halls for the summer.
A colonial mansion, a hereditary estate, I would say a haunted
house, and reach the height of romantic felicitybut that would be
asking too much of fate!
Still I would probably declare that there is something queer
about it.
Else, why should it be let so cheaply? And why have stood so long
untenanted?
John laughs at me, of course, but one expects that.
John is practical in the extreme. He has no patience with
faith, an intense horror of superstition, and he scoffs openly at any
talk of things not to be felt and seen and put down in figures.
John is a physician, and perhaps(I would not say it
to a living soul, of course, but this is dead paper and a great relief to
my mind)perhaps that is one reason I do not get well faster.
You see, he does not believe I am sick!
And what can one do?
If a physician of high standing, and one's own husband,
assures friends and relatives that there is really nothing the matter
with one but temporary nervous depressiona slight hysterical
tendencywhat is one to do?
My brother is also a physician, and also of high standing,
and he says the same thing.
So I take phosphates or phosphiteswhichever it is, and
tonics, and journeys, and air, and exercise, and am absolutely forbidden
to "work" until I am well again.
Personally, I disagree with their ideas.
Personally, I believe that congenial work, with excitement
and change, would do me good.
But what is one to do?
I did write for a while in spite of them; but it does
exhaust me a good dealhaving to be so sly about it, or else meet with
heavy opposition.
I sometimes fancy that in my condition if I had less
opposition and more society and stimulusbut John says the very worst
thing I can do is to think about my condition, and I confess it always
makes me feel bad.
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