Stephehn Gosson, The Schoole of Abuse.
THE Syracusans vsed such varietie of dishes in theyr banquets, that when they were sette, and their boordes furnished, they were many times in doubt, which they shoulde touth first, or taste last. And in my opinion the world giueth euery writer so large a field to walke in, that before he set penne to the booke, he shall find him selfe feasted at Syracusa, vncertaine where to begin, or when to end. This caused Pindarus too question with his Muse, whether he were better with his art to discifer the life of ye Nimp[h]e Melia, or Cadmus encounter with the Dragon, or the warres of Hercules, at the walles of Thebes,or Bacchus cuppes, or Venus iugling. Hee sawe so many turninges layde open to his feete, that hee knewe not which way to bende his pace.
    Therefore as I cannot but commende his wisedome, which in banqueting feedes most vpon that, that doth nourish best; so must I disprayse his methode in writing, which following the course of amarous Poets, dwelleth longest in those pointes, that profite least; and like a wanton whelpe, leaueth the game, to runne riot. The Scarabe flies ouer many a sweete flower, and lightes in a cowshard : It is the custome of the flye to leaue the sound places of the Horse, and suck at the Botch: The nature of Colloquintida, to draw the worst humours too it selfe : The maner of swine, to forsake the fayre fieldes, and wallow in the myre : And the whole practise of Poets, eyther with fables to shew theyr abuses, or with plaine tearmes to vnfolde theyr mischiefe, discouer theyr shame, discredit them selues, and disperse their poyson through all the worlde. Virgill sweates in describyng his Gnat: Ouid bestirreth him to paint out his Flea : the one shewes his art in the lust of Dido, the other his cunning in the inceste of Myrrha, and that trumpet of Baudrie, the Craft of loue.
    I must confesse that Poets are the whetstones of wit, notwithstanding that wit is dearly bought : where hony and gall are mixed, it will be hard to seuer the one from the other[.] The deceitfull Phisition giueth sweete Syrropes to make his poyson goe downe the smoother: The Iuggler casteth a myst to worke the closer: The Syrens song is the Saylers wrack: The Fowlers whistle, the birdes death : The wholesome bayte, the fishes bane: The Harpies haue Virgins faces, and vultures Talentes: Hyena speakes like a friend, and deuoures like a Foe: The calmest Seas hide dangerous Rockes: the Woolf iettes in Weathers felles: Many good sentences are spoken by Danus, to shadowe his knauery: and written by Poets, as ornaments to beautifye their woorkes, and sette theyr trumperie too sale without suspect.
    But if you looke well too Epæus horse, you shall finde in his bowels the destructionof Troy: open the sepulchre of Semyramis, whose Title promiseth suche wealth to the Kinges of Persia, you shall see nothing but deade bones : Rippe vp the golden Ball, that Nero consecrated to Iupiter Capitollinus, you shall haue it stuffed with the shauinges of his Beard: pul off the visard that Poets maske in, you shall disclose their reproch, bewray their vanitie, loth their wantonnesse, lament their follie, and perceiue their sharpe sayings to be placed as Pearles in Dunghils, fresh pictures on rotten walles, chaste Matrons apparel on common Curtesans. These are the Cuppes of Circes, that turne reasonable creatures into brute Beastes, the balles of Hippomenes, that hinder the course of Atalanta; and the blocks of the Diuel that are cast in our wayes, to cut off the rase of toward wittes. No marueyle though Plato shut them out of his schoole, and banished them quite from his common wealth, as effeminate writers, vnprofitable members, and vtter enimies to vertue.
    The Romans were verie desirous to imitate the Greekes, and yet verie loth to receiue their Poets: insomuch that Cato layth it in the dishe of Marcus the noble as a foule reproche, that in the time of his Consulshippe, hee brought Ennius the Poet into his prouince. Tullie accustomed to read them with great diligence in his youth, but when hee waxed grauer in studie, elder in yeares, riper in iudgement, hee accompted them the fathers of lyes, Pipes of vanitie, and Schooles of Abuse. Maximus Tyrius taketh vppon him to defend the discipline of these Doctors vnder the name of Homer, wresting the rashnes of Aiax, to valour; the cowardice of Vlisses, to Policie; the dotage of Nestor, to graue counsell, and the battaile of Troy, too the woonderfull conflict of the foure Elementes: where Iuno which is counted the ayre, settes in her foote to take vp the strife, and steps boldly betwixt them to part the fray. It is a Pageant woorth the sight, to beholde how he labors with Mountaines to bring foorth Mise; much like to some of those Players, that come to the scaffold with Drum and Trumpet to profer skirmishe, and when they haue sounded Allarme, off go the peeces to encounter a shadow, or conquer a Paper monster. You will smile I am sure if you read it, to see how this morall Philosopher toyles too draw the Lyons skin vpon Æsops Asse. Hercules shoes on a childes feete, amplifying that which the more it is stirred, the more it stinkes; the lesse it is talked of, the better it is liked; and as waywarde children, the more they bee flattered, the worse they are; or as curst sores with often touching waxe angry, and run the longer without healing. He attributeth the beginning of vertue to Minerva, of friendship to Venus, and the roote of all handy crafts to Vulcan; but if he had broke his arme aswel as his legge, when he fel out of heauen into Lemnos, either Apollo must haue played the Bonesetter, or euery occupation beene laide a water. Plato when he sawe the doctrine of these Teachers, neither for profite necessary, nor to be wished for pleasure, gaue them all Drummes entertainment, not suffering them once to shew their faces in a reformed common wealth. And the Tyrius that layes such a foundation for Poets, in the name of Homer, ouerthrows his whole building in the person of Mithecus, which was an excellent Cooke among the Greekes, and asmuch honored for his confections, as Phidias for his caruing. But when he came to Sparta, thinking there for his cunning to be accounted a God, the good lawes of Licurgus, and custom of the country were to hot for his diet. The gouernours banished him and his art, and al the inhabitants folowing the steppes of their Predecessors, vsed not with dainties to prouoke appetite, but with labour and trauell too whette their stomackes to their meate. 

I may well liken Homer to Mithecus, and Poetes to Cookes the pleasures of the one winnes the body from labor, and conquereth the sense; the allurement of the other drawes the mind from vertue, and confoundeth wit. As in euery perfect common wealth there ought to be good lawes established, right mainteined, wrong repressed, vertue rewarded, vice punished, and all maner of abuses thoroughly purged: So ought there such schooles for the furtherance of the same to be aduaunced, that young men may bee taught that in greene yeeres, that becomes them to practise in gray haires.
    Anacharsis beeing demaunded of a Greeke, whether they had not instrumentes of Musicke, or Schooles of Poetrie in Scythia, answered, yes, and that without vice, as though it were either impossible, or incredible, that no abuse should be learned where such lessons are taught, and such schooles mainteined.
    Salust in describing the nurture of Sempronia, commendeth her witte in that shee coulde frame her selfe to all companies, too talke discretely with wyse men, and vaynely with wantons, taking a quip ere it came too grounde, and returning it back without a faulte. She was taught (saith he) both Greek and Latine, she could versifie, sing, and daunce, better then became an honest woman. Sappho was skilfull in Poetrie and sung wel, but she was whorish. I set not this downe too condemne the giftes of versifying, daunsing or singyng in women, so they bee vsed with meane, and exercised in due tyme. But to shew you that as by Anacharsis report the Scythians did it without offence: so one Swalowe bringes not Sommer; nor one particular example sufficient proofe for a generall precept. Whyte siluer, drawes a blacke lyne; Fyre is as hurtfull, as healthie; water as daungerous, as it is commodious; and these qualities as harde to bee wel vsed when we haue them, as they are to be learned before wee get them. Hee that goes to Sea, must smel of the Ship; and that sayles into Poets wil sauour of Pitch.
    C. Marius in the assembly of the whole Senate at Rome, in a somlemne oration, giueth an account of his bringing vp: he sheweth that he hath beene taught to lye on the ground, to suffer all weathers, to leade men, to strike his foe, to feare nothing but an euill name: and chalengeth praise vnto him selfe, in that hee neuer learned the Greeke tongue, neither ment to be instructed in it heerafter, either that he thought it too farre a iourney to fetche learning beyonde the fielde, or because he doubted the abuses of those Schooles, where Poets were euer the head Maisters.  Tiberius the Emperour sawe somewhat, when he iudged Scaurus to death for writing a Tragidie: Augustus, banished Ouid: And Nero when he charged Lucan, to put vp his pipes, to stay his penne and write no more. Burrus and Seneca the schoolemaisters of Nero are flowted and hated of the people, for teaching their Scholer the song of Attis. For Dion saith, that the hearing thereof wroonge laughter and teares from most of those that were then about him. Wherby I iudge that they scorned the folly of the teachers, and lamented the frenzie of the Scholer, who beeing Emperour of Rome, and bearing the weight of the whole common wealth vppon his shoulders, was easier to bee drawen to vanitie by wanton Poets, then to good gouernment by the fatherly counsell of graue Senators. They were condemned to dye by the lawes of the Heathens, which inchaunted the graine in other mens grounds: and are not they accursed thinke you by the mouth of God, which hauing the gouernment of young Princes, with Poeticall fantasies draw them to the schooles of their owne abuses, bewitching the graine in the green blade, that was sowed for the sustenance of many thousands, and poisoning the spring with their amorous layes, whence the whole common wealth should fetch water? But to leaue the scepter to Iupiter, and instructing of Princes to Plutarch andXenophon, I will beare a lowe sayle, and rowe neere the shore, least I chaunce to bee carried beyonde my reache, or runne a grounde in those Coasts which I neuer knewe. My onely endeuour shalbe to show you that in a rough cast, which I see in a cloude, loking through my fingers.
    And because I haue bene matriculated my selfe in the schoole where so many abuses florish, I wil imitate ye dogs of Ægypt, which comming to the bancks of Nylus too quenche their thirste, syp and away, drinke running, lest they bee snapt short for a pray too Crocodiles. I shoulde tel tales out of the Schoole, and bee Ferruled for my faulte, or hyssed at for a blab, yf I layde al the orders open before your eyes. You are no sooner entred, but libertie looseth the reynes, and geues you head, placing you with Poetrie in the lowest forme: when his skill is showne too make his Scholer as good as euer twangde, hee preferres you too Pyping, from Pyping to playing, from play to pleasure, from pleasure to slouth, from slouth to sleepe, from sleepe to sinne, from sinne to death, from death to the deuill, if you take your learning apace, and passe through euery forme without reuolting. Looke not too haue mee discourse these at large, the Crocodile watcheth to take me tardie, which soeuer of them I touche, is a vyle: Trype and goe, for I dare not tarry.
    Heraclides accounteth Amphyon the ringleader of poets and Pypers: DelphusPhilammones penned the birth of Latona, Diana and Apollo in verse; and taught the people to Pype and Daunce rounde about the temple of Delphos. Hesiodus was as cunning in Pyping, as in Poetrie: so was Terpandrus, and after him Clonas. Apollo which is honoured of Poets as the God of their Art, had at the one side of his Idol in Delos a bowe, and at the other, the three Graces with three sundrie instruments, of which one was a pype, and some writers affirme that he pyped himselfe now and than.
    Poetrie and pyping, haue allwaies bene so vnited togither, that til the time of Melanippides, Pipers were Poets hyerlings. But marke I pray you, how they are now both abused. 
    The right vse of auncient Poetrie was too haue the notable exploytes of woorthy Captaines, the holesome councels of good fathers, and vertuous liues of predecessors set downe in numbers, and song to the Instrument at solemne feastes, that the sound of the one might draw the hearers from kissing the cupp too often; the sense of the other put them in minde of things past, and chaulk out the way to do the like. After this manner were the Boeotians trained from rudenesse to ciuilitie, The Lacedemonians instructed by Terteæus verse, The Argiues by the melody of Telesilla, And the Lesbians by Alcæus Odes.
    To this end are instruments vsed in battaile, not to tickle the eare, but too teach euery souldier when to strike and when to stay, when to flye, and when to followe.  Chiron by singing to his instrument, quencheth Achiles furye; Terpandrus with his notes, layeth the tempest, and pacifies the tumult at Lacedæmon: Homer with his Musicke cured the sick Souldiers in the Grecians campe, and purged euery mans Tent of the Plague. Thinke you that those miracles coulde be wrought with playing of Daunces, Dumpes, Pauins, Galiardes, Measures Fancyes, or new streynes? They neuer came wher this grewe, nor knew what it ment.

Excerpted from Renascence Editions, transcribed by R.S. Bear, July 2000, from the Arber edition of 1895. The full text can be found at the Renascence Editions site.