Patricia Muench

Prof. Lecker

9/20/08

Old to New Identities

            Frances Moore Lappe once said, “I’ve grown certain that the root of all fear is that we’ve been forced to deny who we are.” Two literature examples of this quote are “Yes Ma’am” by Deirdre N. McCloskey, and “Up, Close, In Touch” by Georgina Kleege. Deirdre and Georgina express through their stories that they have to perfect accepted identities, instead of showing their true identities. Deirdre needed to perfect her feminine personality after a gender change, so that way nobody would ever know she was once a guy. Georgina had to perfect her reading skills, in order to cover up that she was only able to read Braille well. Hiding true identities means that someone might never be able to express their true self. Deirdre never let anyone know that she was once a guy, and Georgina never let anyone know that she could only read Braille well.

            For Deirdre N. McCloskey and Georgina Kleege, it took a while for them to figure out their true identities. For a while, Deirdre and Georgina did what was expected of them. Deirdre lived as Donald McCloskey for over 50 years. He was married and even had kids. Georgina forced herself to read with her eyes. She would only read with her eyes like her mom wanted her to. Deirdre didn’t really endure any pain when she was a male because she didn’t make her true identity a reality, until she was 54 years old. However, when Georgina was figuring out her true identity, she dealt with a lot of strain on her eyes. She put her eyes about two inches from a page when reading anything. When she was reading something, many times she would have to hold one eyelid closed to make reading a little easier. She even has a blind spot that erases much of what she might have written a second ago. Deirdre and Georgina lived by the “normal” life for a while, but discovering their identities didn’t make their lives any easier.

            When Deirdre and Georgina discovered their identities, they also went through a journey of becoming their identities. Deirdre discovered that she should be a female, and Georgina discovered that she could read in the form of Braille and audio books. At this point, Deirdre had a tougher time than Georgina did. Deirdre’s transformation took about three years to complete. First, she had to live a year as the opposite gender. Then, she got a physical procedure to change her gender from male to female. Lastly, she had to learn every female gender clue, so that she could pass as a woman. Georgina discovered her identity through the Yale University English Department. She found out that the university had “close reading” as an English major. When she discovered this major, she said, “I felt physically well-suited, if not predestined, to be a close reader.” This is important because it proves that she found her true identity of being a Braille reader. Deirdre picked up every gender clue she noticed, including the walk, the talk, and the overall personality of a woman. Some gender clues she picked up were the gentle way to shake hands, the checking of hair and jewelry constantly, the way that females keep their knees closed when sitting, and the way females keep their elbows close to their bodies. Deirdre said that, “It becomes second nature, and a comfort to oneself even when alone.” This is important because it shows that switching to the opposite gender takes a lot of hard work and practice. It shows that Deirdre knew the many difficulties that would come about in the process of becoming a woman. Georgina discovered that there are other ways to read, such as audio books and Braille. At this time, it became a little easier for Georgina to read. She started to get rid of her habits of reading to inches from the page, and was able to lean back and read comfortably. She even said, “The frantic uncertainty of reading print was gone.” This shows that after reading Braille, it really made her feel comfortable. It also proves that she discovered her comfort zone of her true identity. Deirdre and Georgina both had difficult journeys in becoming their identities.

            The most influential part of Deirdre and Georgina’s lives is the way they have to hide their true identities from society. Deirdre had to perfect her feminine skills, so that she wouldn’t be read by others as a male. Deirdre explained, “Women who read a cross dresser are not violent, but frightened and indignant.” This is important because it shows that cross dressers are no different. However, they still get discriminated against. Even Deirdre’s sister provided her with pepper spray because it is dangerous in public sometimes if someone finds out your true identity of being the opposite gender. She knew that her transformation was complete when a waiter addressed all of the dames as dames without even noticing that Deirdre was once a guy. For Georgina, she became more of an auditory learner, so that she wouldn’t draw attention to her disability. So that she wouldn’t have to read assigned readings aloud in class, she would memorize a part of the reading that she would volunteer to read aloud when it came time in class. She would even lie to her friend when studying with her, so that she would have more time to study by herself at home. She explained her experience as, “I did not consciously work to conceal my blindness from my friends, but it was just often easier to pretend that I saw what they did…” This shows that she wanted to express her true identity, but couldn’t because it wouldn’t have been accepted by her friends. Overall, hiding identities can hold back a person from expressing their true self.

            The process of becoming a new hidden identity, and then living that hidden identity, can be a hard time for someone. For Deirdre, she lived the “normal” life, but then went through with a gender change. She was able to overcome her adjustment to becoming a woman, and got rid of the quality of being read as a guy. She never let anyone know that she used to be a guy. For Georgina, she lived the “normal” life, but she never let anyone know that she had a sight disability. She perfected her reading skills by becoming more of an auditory learner and a Braille reader, but hid this from everyone else. Discovering different ways of learning helped Georgina fit into the “normal” society. Overall, denying who you truly are is not caused by yourself, but by society’s standards.

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Patricia Muench

9/15/08

Prof. Lecker

Abstract of Yes, Ma’am by Deirdre N. McCloskey

            In Deidre N. McCloskey’s “Yes Ma’am”, she describes the difficult process one must go through in order to switch genders. Switching genders takes at least three years for a person to fully be accepted by society as an opposite gender. Deidre tells us that you have to pay attention to every intricate gender clue in the walk, the talk, and the attitude, in order to fully grasp the idea of cross-gendering. You master cross-gendering when actions become like second nature to you, and when people cannot even tell through the look of you. With cross-gendering, there also might come a time where you have to actually transform a part of your body slightly, such as your face with face lifts. Deidre also explains that with cross-gendering, there may experience a bit of hazing and discrimination. After she transformed, she was advised to carry pepper spray by her sister. However, if you master your transformation, all of that possible discrimination would probably go away. The reward would be just living as an average person in public without anyone being able to question what gender you are.