P.M. Forni: Why civility is necessary for society's
survival
Originally published in The Dallas News
ublished: 23 July 2010 05:49 AM
http://Dallasnews.com
In today's America, incivility is on
prominent display: in the schools, where bullying is pervasive; in the
workplace, where an increasing number are more stressed out by co-workers than
their jobs; on the roads, where road rage maims and kills; in politics, where
strident intolerance takes the place of earnest dialogue; and on the Web, where
many check their inhibitions at the digital door. In the last 10 years, the coarsening
of life in the U.S. has become a high-profile concern, in part because of the
misbehavior of high-profile people. In opinion surveys, Americans say
incivility is a national problem - one that has been getting worse.
nd the
concern goes beyond simple rude words and acts; incivility is known to escalate
to physical violence, a fact of life confirmed by the daily news. Of course, not everyone has joined
the chorus lamenting the decline of civility. Dissenting voices point out that
conflict is the life of democracy, that an excessive concern for the niceties
of language and demeanor can stifle political debate. And they worry that many
pro-civility measures adopted in the last 20 years by colleges and other organizations
run afoul of the First Amendment. As the national conversation on
civility gains momentum, the time has come to take a closer look at what
civility is, why it matters and whether it deserves all the attention it is
generating. Are we making too much of too little? After all, one of the
dissenting voices could say, although life may be littered with the nuisance of
little incivilities, the world does go on. The problem, however, is that the
incivilities we confront every day are many - and some of them are not so
little.
But let us begin at the beginning.
From where did we first get "civility"? "Civitas" is a
juridical and political construct that Greco-Roman antiquity bequeathed to
Western civilization. In Latin, it meant "city," in the sense of city-state,
the body politic, the commonwealth. Consequently, "civilitas" - which
became "civility" in English - was the conduct becoming citizens in
good standing, willing to give of themselves for the good of the city. Building on the notion of
"civilitas," here is a possible definition of civility for our times:
The civil person is someone who cares for his or her community and who looks at
others with a benevolent disposition rooted in the belief that their claim to
well being and happiness is as valid as his or her own. More Americans are
discerning with increasing clarity the connections between civility and ethics,
civility and health, and civility and quality of life. In fact a consensus is
developing around the notion that a vigorous civility is necessary for the
survival of society as we know it.
Civility and Ethics
What gives true
civility depth and importance is, first of all, its connection with ethics.
Just look at the Principle of Respect for Persons, a cornerstone of all ethical
systems known to history. It states that we are to treat others as ends in
themselves rather than as means for the furthering of our personal advantage.
In other words, our behavior must be informed by empathy. For example, say your spouse loses a
big argument with you; you may be tempted to use your victory to manipulate him
into making concessions he would never make otherwise. But you know the
honorable thing to do is to spend a few conciliatory words to help him save
face. This is civility.
Civility is not trivial, because it
allows us to be ethical agents in the most common of situations. To put it more
simply, civility does the everyday busy work of goodness. Civility, health and quality of
life: Imagine a supervisor harshly upbraiding a worker in the presence of
colleagues - and then the upbraided worker retaliating by making the supervisor
look bad in front of the boss at the first opportunity. This kind of uncivil
behavior happens all the time. It is disruptive and stress-inducing - and can
affect the health of employees and businesses. Studies have shown that protracted
exposure to stress caused by living in an uncivil environment increases the
chances of contracting cardiovascular disease, for example. And the American
Psychological Association has estimated that workplace stress (considering
absenteeism, loss of productivity, medical expenses and turnover) costs U.S.
businesses about $300 billion a year. On the other hand, when we engage in
a civil and pleasant exchange with a friend, for instance, our bodies release
neurochemicals such as oxytocin and serotonin that lower our stress levels,
make us feel better and strengthen both our immune system and our bonds with
that friend. The bottom line? The harmonious relationships that civility helps
foster have a positive impact on our overall well-being.
Civility and the survival of society
as we know it.
History is rife with examples of deep thinkers who understood
the critical role civility plays in a well-ordered society. The framers of the U.S. Constitution
assumed that their fellow citizens' pursuit of personal interest would be bound
by self-regulation based on religious belief and ethical principles. John
Adams saw with particular clarity that without allegiance to
those principles, no government could survive. "We have no government capable
of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion," he
wrote in 1798. "Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry, would break the
strongest cords of our constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our
constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly
inadequate to the government of any other."
In Britain, judge and mathematician John
Fletcher Moulton observed that between the realm of the things we do
with unrestricted freedom and those we do because they are prescribed by the
law, there exists a middle ground, the domain of Obedience to the
Unenforceable. Here our actions are influenced by our sense of what is the
proper, responsible and decent thing to do. They fall, that is, under the rule
of an unofficial code of duty to goodness. Coaching a Little League team is an
example. Participating in a neighborhood watch program is another.
Civility and good manners belong to
the realm of the unenforceable. For Lord Moulton, "the real greatness of a
nation, its true civilization, is measured by the extent of this land of
obedience to the unenforceable." The more a society relies on
self-regulation - the more civil it is - the less need it has to legislate and
the less it will be plagued by coercion, conflict and litigation. What Adams and Moulton recognized is
that for any society to survive and thrive, the total amount of goodness
circulating at any given time needs to remain above a certain level. We are the
world's trustees - not just of the air we breathe and the water we drink, but
of one another's quality of life, contentment and happiness.
Civility is the shape that care
takes.
Humans are the most social of all
earth's creatures. We constantly connect and relate. If life is a relational
experience, then its quality is, to a considerable extent, measured against the
quality of our relationships.
Receiving a good training in
civility allows us to acquire an effective code of conduct for these
relationships that will serve us well throughout life. Thanks to these skills,
we behave in ways that make others want to keep us around them. We thus find
ourselves embedded in circles of connection and care, such as family and
friends. Through the bonds we forge, we stave off isolation, which - as studies
conducted by researchers such as J.K. Kiecolt-Glaser and J.T. Cacioppo - is a
predictor of early onset illness and early death. Yes, at the cost of sounding
guru-ish, civility can be a matter of life and death.
And the nation is catching on. As the
conversation about civility has grown louder over the last decade, groups have
taken notice. Many communities, schools, agencies and corporations have
launched pro-civility initiatives. In Duluth, Minn., the "Speak
Your Peace" campaign was conceived to bring civility to public discourse
so that more citizens would consider civic engagement. At NASA's
Goddard Space Flight Center in Maryland
, workers have regular meetings to foster talks on civility and diversity.
Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles, Johns Hopkins in Baltimore and George Washington
in Washington, D.C., are among the many hospitals that
have opened an in-house conversation on the impact of medical workers'
disruptive behavior on therapeutic outcomes. The initiatives are in the
hundreds, if not thousands, and few existed even 10 years ago.
It's safe to say that the first
decade of the millennium was when America rediscovered why civility matters. It
will take the second decade to figure out what we do with that knowledge.
P.M. Forni is the founder of the
Civility Initiative at Johns Hopkins University and the author of "The
Civility Solution." He speaks frequently on the connections among
civility, ethics and quality of life. His e-mail address is forni@jhu.edu.